Fantasizing

Chapter 12

He took another bite out of his apple and raised his eyebrow signaling for me to go on. "Well anyway, you came out with two brown bags. And then when you got in the car you downed the a whole bottle of alcohol in like fuckin' 5 minutes! Then you started on another. I tried to grab it but you just started driving, and kept drinking it. Then you passed out and I brought you here" I finished. His expression was dark. He looked like he was in deep thought.

"Damn, I'm sorry Zen." he sighed and ran his hands over his face, "You should be sorry, You know you almost got our asses killed? I didn't even know you drank like that" He kept his eyes down as he begin to talk "I don't know what the fuck came over me, I was just feeling ..." he stopped talking, trailing off. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't get it out. I didn't stess him on it really, I just didn't want to hear anything he had to say it was like he was just a different person and wasn't thinking at all.

Before he could speak again I got up and walked to the bathroom, I honestly just couldn't stand Ian right now. I did brushed my teeth then turned on the shower hoping I could relax. I took my clothes off and got in. I had a feeling Ian wasn't telling me something. I've always been completely honest with him, yet he still kept secrets from me. I mean we weren't together, so I wasn't expecting him to tell me everything about everything, but damn he don't gotta be so secretive.

I didn't like this shit, he was drinking and keeping shit from me. As a friend and someone Ian could trust I expected way more from him. I started to think about what Manny said to me yesterday. At that time it seemed impossible and stupid, but now that I'm thinking about it, it's starting to sound more and more true.

I stayed in the shower for about good half hour, before cutting the water off and getting out. Since I hadn't bothered to grab clothes on my way to the bathroom, I would have to walk to my room with nothing but a towel on.

As soon as I stepped in the room I could feel Ian's eyes on my every move. I walked to the drawer and searched for some under clothes. Ian stepped off the bed and walked over to me. "Move" I said in an annoyed voice. He came closer and closer till I could feel his breath down my neck. I turned around and with my free hand pushed him away being careful that my towel wouldn't fall. "Ian, get the fuck away from me" I semi-yelled.

He didn't say a word. He just looked down at me. I repeatedly hit his chest. He stayed put and kept looking at me. "Ian, get out of my way I'm trying to ge-" Before I could even finish my sentence Ian's lips were on mine. He kissed me hard. I hesitated to kiss him back, but soon did in the same motion. He bit my lip asking for entrance and I happily let him in. Our tongues fought for dominance, for awhile. His lips were soft, and he obviously knew what he was doing. He held my waist keeping my towel from falling and I slid my arms around his neck.

His body was pressed against mine, making my towel stay on my body. This was nothing like we had done before this kiss was different. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His lips never left mine as he carried me to my bed. He gently lied me down, and unwrapped my towel.

I begin to grow self conscious as he looked at me up and down. I could see the heavy lust in his eyes. He kissed me on my forehead. "You're beautiful." He whispered causing shivers to go through my body. I shook my head and pulled my towel from under me and wrapped my self back up. Ian looked at me with worry. I sat up on my bed and sighed. I couldn't do this, this was going all to fast.

Not even 10 minutes ago I was yelling at Ian telling him to leave me alone and just a few seconds ago I was about to let him take my virginity. "I can't do this" I whispered. Ian let out a sigh, and put his head down. "I'm sorry, I just can't. This is too fast" I said again. He sighed once more. "You right, this is too fast" He said as I got up and grabbed a pair of boy shorts, a sports bra, and a T-shirt.