Drunken Violations

6 months after the kidnapping

~Prologue~

It was not until the stars aligned that I realized I had Stockholm syndrome, but I came to accept it.

What can I say, he was the beast to my beauty. He was strong and tall, and the way his brown hair swept upon his face gave me tingly feeling that I loved every time I saw him. But that was all over now because in this world it's kill or be killed, and I am not going down without a fight.

At times it seemed like life was shutting me down by ruining its self. But now I realize that all I would ever have is what I have now. The only person that could fix this is Grim. As the best friend I ever had, she has had her fails. She doesn't know where I am. No one does. I have no contact with the outside world. My best mistake has taken me away from my life, but at the same time he gave me a new one.

6 months. Half of a  long solid year. And I am pretty sure everyone thinks I am dead. No, not pretty sure. I am dead sure. I love him, but he must die for my own life to be spared.

I will do it.

As of right now I suffer from Stockholm syndrome and Bipolar Disorder. There are so many things wrong with me. How can anyone but a beast love such a creature as me. The past was but forgotten. Lost in a land of drunken violations. Nothing gave him the right to do what he did, but the fact is he did it and after a while I liked it. It made me feel... amazing. Things I had never felt before. Virgins we spoke of no longer existed. Felonies turned into lust which turned into love. Starting at the point of fear, finding in the point of sex, but ending in the purpose of love.

I tell myself, "Melanie, your love lies within a loving, beautiful, funny, sexual, capturer. Don't let your heart be satisfied by death. He knows not what he has done." And I will not be satisfied by this horrible defensive murder. I will lose a love because of what I have done.

As much as this kills my inside, it is what shall happen. I must commit the deed to save lives. I feel that it will... no, might turn out better. I need Grim to come here and fix it when I do.

It's hard to live like this, but I love the way I feel when I do. My life has changed in many ways, unknown to even myself. We shall see what will come of it.