February 4, 2014
Just a few things that have happened over these last few months:
Sorry guys. I've been away for a while. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. The doc has me on some antipsychotics. I might just be a bit on the crazy side. I still think too much. I was told the medicine was being used to treat migraines. Then I googled the name of it and it's an antipsychotic.
While I was away I fell in love. isn't it funny how love can do odd things? I find it hard to survive without seeing him. i saw him today. I usually meet him where I transfer busses. He lives close by me so we ride the same bus home. He's amazing and I truly do love him.
Here's a funny thing! I'm on probation. Yes. PROBATION. Now I have to go to class! I guess it's a good thing though. It's really helped me out over the past few months. I meet my probation counselor every Wednesday. I've come to realize that this person is just trying to help.
Isn't it weird how love makes you feel? It's like a bubbly warm feeling that spreads through my entire body every time I see him! Sorry friends for coming back to this feeling again. This new experience makes me feel like the first time I thought I was in love was just a stupid crush! Most likely. I really want to spend my life with this guy. I really just love him that much!!!
Anyway, my insomnia got worse. I literally look like all I do is smoke crack. I look older than I am by a few years. it's the bags under my eyes. I guess staying up late to write all of this isn't really helping either. I haven't been prescribed a medication I can take for this yet. I would try benadryl, but I can't, as I am deathly allergic.
I've been thinking a lot about my parents lately as well. They love me right? I mean all parents love their children don't they? Thinking the way that I do, I really am not sure. it seems the only time I ever hear the words, "I love you" escape from their mouths is when I make them proud. Of course, me being me that really doesn't happen very much.
You know, my sister came back a few times. She's got a newborn baby and we seem to have it most of the time. She already has 2 other kids she abandoned so now we have permanent guardianship over them. She calls Xander, my nephew, the good child,and my niece, the demon child. Of course, Ariyana (my niece), is always around to hear her say it, She can recognise it as her when she hears her mom say it to her friends. Wouldn't it be just awful to wake up every morning knowing that your mother couldn't give a shit less about you?
Anyways, I better be going. My dad's tablet battery won't last forever. I'll try to get back to go guys as soon as possible. Sorry for the delay in updating but I've had a lot of thinking to do. Thanks for continuing to read this. it really means a lot! Enough blabbering. See ya!!
