You See But Do Not Observe

STORY

"We can do that after you eat something." John said firmly, and Sherlock tightened his grip on Serena.

"Thank you." Serena said.

The day passed in agony. Between the hangover and the grief, Serena felt like falling asleep and not waking up for the rest of her life. John never stopped comforting her, and Sherlock never seemed to let her go.

They went to the police station, where Sergeant Donovan kept quiet for once. Lestrade asked her if there was anything he could do, and she told him to catch the man. The man who had started everything.

Serena visited Sandy's flat as well. It had already been stripped, but she could feel the way he had made it his. She broke down there, and Sherlock and John left her alone.

She didn't want to eat, but John forced her to. She didn't want to stop moving, because moving kept the grief away, but they returned to Baker Street in the evening.

They walked upstairs somberly, and the moment they got inside, Serena fell to the couch. John turned on the lights, and they both sat, John on the chair and Sherlock next to Serena on the couch. Their shoulders pressed together just enough.

Serena knew what she had to do. She knew she should just get it over with.

"You deserve to know the truth." She said softly.

"Not tonight." John said.

"If I don't do it now, I never will." Serena said, and she stared at her hands in her lap. She took a deep breath, and her lips began forming the words she'd been waiting to say for so long.

"It was four years ago when I met him. I was in university. I ran into him on the street. He was having a panic attack, but I calmed him down. He called me his angel. He used to be so charming. He told me he had this fear of being alone. Monophobia. I told him I was studying psychology, and he asked me out for coffee. His name was, is Michael Burns." Serena stiffened when she said it, and she knew they noticed.

"We talked for hours. I didn't even realize. And he asked me out again and again. I didn't want to. I knew he was insecure. He used to panic when I left the room sometimes, and he had nightmares almost every night." Serena swallowed.

"And then, six months after I met him, my mother told me she had met someone. She wanted me to go out with him instead. We fought. She told me I was in love with someone damaged, someone irreparable. I didn't listen. I didn't care. I kept seeing Michael. After only a year, he proposed."

Serena heard the sharp intake of breath from John. Sherlock's hand gripped hers, and she squeezed it in thanks.

"I said yes, of course. I loved him. I was on top of the world. I thought nothing could go wrong. I was a fool. When my parents found out, they were furious. My mom told me she would never allow it to happen. She told me I was wasting my potential as a wife on a psychopath. I ignored them, and they disowned me." Serena's voice tightened in anger.

"I'm so sorry." John said quietly.

"How could they? How could they?" Serena shouted. "They abandoned me. I was their only child, and they abandoned me!"

She sighed. "Michael and I moved. We moved miles and miles away. I haven't seen them since."

This was the part she hated the most.

"We were happy, for a while. For a year and a half, we were engaged, waiting for the right time to settle down and get married. But Michael's fear was getting worse. I would go out, and he would become paranoid about what I was doing, who I was with. We began fighting constantly. He wouldn't let me go anywhere without him. About two years in, I broke off the engagement. I told him it was over." Serena felt herself becoming ice, except for her burning eyes.

"That night, the night I packed up to leave, he wouldn't let me. He blocked the door and told me that we could start over. He scared me. I was trapped. I couldn't get out. I told him that I didn't love him anymore. He lost it. He screamed at me that I was going to stay, or he would, he would..."

"Kill you." Sherlock said coldly, his grip tightening, and Serena nodded.

"He was so afraid of being alone, you see. The fear possessed him. He couldn't let me go. So I continued living in his house, living in constant fear that one day he would snap."

"How long?" Sherlock asked.

"Nine months." Serena answered. "And then, finally, he had to leave the house. I can't remember why, but I saw my chance and I took it. I wasn't really thinking. It was all instinct. But I ran, and I ran right to him." Serena shuddered. "I thought he would kill me. I almost wish he had. Then it would've been over. Instead, he dragged me into the house. We had a basement. He took me in there. He had already installed handcuffs to the wall, like a torture machine. He chained me there, turned off every light, and left me to rot." Serena felt herself shivering, and she leaned against Sherlock. His entire body was tensed.

"You asked me if my fear was trauma or part of me. I said I always had it. I lied." She whispered.

"I was fine for a few days, maybe a week. Once a day he would feed me and give me water and scream. I wished that he would kill me, but he never did. I hoped someone would realize that he was insane. I prayed."

"You have no idea how terrible it is, being trapped in constant darkness, no sound, no light, nothing there. I could barely move. So I lost it. I began screaming and crying and struggling. The handcuffs were so tight I couldn't move, but I pulled against them." Serena pulled her hand from Sherlock's and pulled up the long-sleeve to reveal her wrist.

A ring of shiny pink skin surrounded her wrist. "There was a reason I always wear these. It was to hide the scars." She whispered.

"How could he?" John said angrily.

"He was insane."

"Don't make excuses!" John shouted, and Serena recoiled.

"What he did was wrong! More than that, it was torture!" John shouted.

"You think I don't know! I was chained there for weeks, struggling and fighting and he just watched!"

"How did you get away?" Sherlock asked, examining the scars.

"One day, he seemed calmer. He released me and let me walk around upstairs a bit. I hadn't seen the sunlight for almost a month, and it gave me courage. When he turned the other way, I grabbed this massive vase and smashed it over his head. He fell unconscious, I grabbed all the money I could, my clothing, my car, and ran. I ran all the way to London. I told Lestrade everything. He tried to track Michael down, but he had vanished. He changed my identity for me, and I've been hiding ever since. Until now. Now he's found me, and this time he will kill me." Serena said.

The room was quiet for a very long time. Serena rested her head, exhausted, against Sherlock's shoulder.

"I'll kill him." Sherlock said.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never said anything. I thought that if I pretended it never happened, it would go away. But it never does." Serena said, her voice muffled in Sherlock's shoulder.

"You aren't alone, Serena. We'll protect you, Lestrade and us. He's not going to murder you too."

Serena was already drifting off, into the sleep she had wanted.

"Don't leave." She whispered.

"I won't." Sherlock told her.