Him

Hello

I am not your usual teen I was beaten as a child and raped but you would have never know with the way I always had a smile on my face. Being from where I come from you learn to fear love even from those who care the most for you. I have only had 3 people that I thought actually cared for me. The last one of them destroyed my trust. Only after a month later I fell in love with a man that would never love me back. He was so important to me that when I found out he would never love me back I died on the inside so much that I never wanted to love anyone again. It hurt so much that I became numb. The conversations still living in my phone. He's face still smiling in my mind. Mocking me without him ever knowing.

First day after moving '6 years earlier'
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Yesterday was the last day of knowing the people that I actually cared about. I've had to switch schools three times now. I thought we won't move again ,but my mom started dating another man. We have spent the night before but now I have to meet new people and find new friends. I was never a social child. I found it really hard to become friends with all my old ones. Now I have to find new friends and a new best friend.
My sister and I shared a room but this time we didn't have to have bunk beds. I enjoyed not having to share a room with my little brother but it was hard because I don't know if I'm safe here yet. I couldn't sleep when we spent the weekend now I have learn to be safe because my mom was happy being with her new boyfriend. I didn't want to ruin her happiness. It was strange knowing that no one I knew was anywhere near. It took a couple months to become comfortable sleeping in a new place. I never met a lot of people because I stayed by myself most of the time. My sister had the easiest time making friends. Unlike me I was just a weird strange child. Our neighbor girl is about our age. I think she's only actually 5 months older. Her and I seemed to connect. Her name is Amber. She has beautiful blonde hair with hints of brown in it. Her eyes are green. She was a about the same size as me maybe a bit bigger. Amber and I became friends instantly. She told that she didn't actually like my sister and when she told me this I was so happy because she wasn't trying to use me to get closer to my sister. I am normally know as the ugly sister and the weird girl in the corner of the classroom.
Amber and I went everywhere and anywhere we could together. My cousin would pick us up and drove us to the farm. On the way there he drove one the bumpiest road he could find. Even buckled up we almost hit the roof of his truck. He even drove over the bumps that made it feel like your stomach was in your throat. We saw a lot of cows and horses. Us be only 10 were very idiotic when he would flirt with us. Amber was not interested in boys but I was. He took that to his advantage. Luckily I had Amber to protect me. When we got to the farm she had realized that he had been hitting on me and was trying to get into my pants so she had us go hang out with my other cousin who knew how to keep his hands to himself Joe. He was polite and cool. He had a lot of friends that tried to flirt with us but he made sure none of his friends older than 18 were hitting on us. One of his friend's brother Austin was only a couple years older. He had red-brownish hair that was shoulder length. He's eyes were a beautiful brown. His smile could light up anyones' day, but he hardly ever smile unless he was with me. It seem as if there was never any sadness when he was with me. He was one of the 3 people in the world I trusted my life and my heart with.
On the first day of school that year I was only in 4th grade. Amber was in 5th so she was at the Middle School and Austin was in 7th grade so he was in the Junior High. Me being in a new school that would mean I would have to try to make new friends and have people ask my name. I don't like it when people used my real name so people would call Ally even though it wasn't short for my name. My mom had told the school not to have my real name on any of the list or papers. When I went to the office about why my real name was on file they told it was for legal reasons but my mom found out about this so they made sure that my real name wasn't on anything.
At lunch I had people ask me what my real name was. All I told them was that they would be safer not knowing. I got my food and it didn't look anywhere near edible so I didn't eat even though my mom would yell at me for not eating. I wasn't even hungry to begin with. I only grab food so I won't get in trouble on my first day. I let some other classmates have my food so I won't have to waste any of it. When I told them I wasn't going to share my name they got mad and started telling people not to hang out with me because I am a weird little new girl. They only person that wanted to hang out with me was this girl name Liz. She had strawberry blonde hair with bright hazel eyes. She was pretty small for being a fourth grade.