Cacti Nation

He wasn't my first...

   Jamie wasn't my first love. To be honest, I think it's better that way. However, seeing that he wasn't my first love (he was my second), I had to get through the other one first.

   My first love was a guy my age. Although, being my age, he was about a foot shorter than me. I know, I know, already beyond awkward. Well I was just head over heels for this little guy. He was in two of my 8th grade classes and he sat at my lunch table. Every time I saw him, I smiled. Every time I heard his name, my insides got all warm and fuzzy. Well I had dated a couple guys before, those being mere lust, not love.

    This dude told all his friends he was moving over Thanksgiving break, right? So, I was sad...enough said. However, I'm walking down the hallway the first day we get back from Thanksgiving break and who do I see? The dude. Everyone he knew was blazing with fury...except me... I was over here overly happy and bubbly because he's back. I never wanted him to leave so why get mad if he comes back right? I just fall even more in love with him.

    There isn't many memories I remember very vividly. There are a few though. For example, there was a time we were organizing the calculators (because who wants to do math?!). I just kind of got a sniff of what he smelled like (which was about as heavenly as his jawline). I said to him, "You smell really nice."

"Uuhh, thanks" he replied.

    Of course I tried to tell him I had feelings for him...multiple times...in multiple ways...each more awkward than the last. Once by note, once face-to-face, actually twice face-to-face. All three times he said something like, "You're a great friend and all but I don't really like you that way." You know, the normal friend-zone stuff. I tried to break free from the stubborn chains of love but it just wasn't happening.