Ramblings of a confused mind…
I have many debates in my mind…constantly… thoughts that like to churn over and over again, build in and of them. They usually lead to more negative thoughts, but then they also lead me to interesting questions about myself and the way I have thought of things in the past versus the way I think of them now.
For instance, consider the subject of opinions. If someone tells me they value my opinion, yet seek out and listen to others’ opinions, does that mean they do not respect my opinion? And, when I say listen, I also mean they use the other’s opinion or take their advice. Also, does that mean that my opinion was not good enough? Therefore, I feel I was not good enough or respected in the first place. So, when this happens again and again by the same person, I start to think that that person does not really value me. Is this accurate? Or am I misunderstanding the so-called value of my opinion requested in the first place? I feel hurt by it, and I do not think the intention was to hurt me, but I feel it nonetheless. How do I get past that? Or, is it something for me to get past? Could it just be that it is the other person’s inability to formulate their own opinion or their way of gathering as much information as possible and then formulating an opinion? How does one stay in the correct mind frame to give their opinion and then be done with it? Doesn’t that also take respect of the other person’s ability to make a decision on their own?
I have been proven wrong in many things. Being proven wrong is humbling, but I have realized it leads to better understanding and communication. I also believe though that at times, one may never know the whole truth, and that is when circumstances presented force one to make a conclusion. After the conclusion has been made, it usually takes facts to change it.
