(Jakes pov)
I role over in my bunk to find that it is a little after ten. I don't feel as if I could sleep any longer but getting out of bed seems so hard. I lye staring at my ceiling for what seems like forever. yesterday has left me ... numb. my phone has blown up with tweets Facebook's and text questioning about Ella and I. I don't answer I just watch as she disses me putting my reputation to the ground.
That's not what hurt me, jinxx hurt me. I role out of my bunk and head out to the kitchen. as I pass thought the living room ash is still on the floor where I left him and jinxx last night. I put coffee on as jinxx walks out of the bathroom.
"Hey I herd about you and ella."
"Yeah the whole world has." I said sounding short.
"If you need me you can talk to me." he slides in besides me lifting himself on to the counter sitting beside the coffee maker.
"Now that you've got your feeling with Ashley out your going to stop being an ass to me?" the hurt and pain comes through.
"I don't have feelings for Ashley. he had my hands." I just shake my head as he puts his down I'm not stupid.
"I'm not okay with you being so bipolar with me." I want to stop myself from this fight I want to take the words back I don't care how bad he's hurt me I want him here to help me through it but my brain will not allow that.
"Listen I know iv been off lately but I.. I'm sorry and if I could explain I would but I don't know how and I miss being there for you and right now I think you could really use me."
He fixes me a cup of coffee along with one for himself before he heads to the table hinting for me to follow. I slide in the circle table beside him as I slowly sip on the coffee trying to wake myself up trying to feel something.
"What if I don't want you here?"
(Jinxxs pov)
"What if I don't want you here?" those words sting it's what I wanted but maybe I was wrong to want that. I look down at my coffee with my arms on the table.
"I can't force you to let me in I... I just don't like seeing you hurt." I barly whisper still hanging my head.
"How come it was ok when you were the one hurting me? why is it a big deal now that your not the one causing the pain?"
"It was never okay even when I was doing it I... I just thought that was what was best... for us to be separated."
"Why would separating me from the best thing in my life ever be good for me?" I shoot my eye up to meet his. was he really talking about me?
"I'm sorry..." he looks away. I dont know what to do we need time alone.
"Don't be. grab your coat were going for a walk." I say as I stand up. no one is up yet so I stick a post-it note to ashes forehead telling him that we have left.
We both walk off the bus looking a little scuzzy but that's ok we just need to go somewhere to talk.
After we walked a few blocked I find a small path that looks like it has been grown over with brush. we carfully walk down the path me leading the way woth his hand in mine. at the end there is a park that looks empty and I sit on the swings pulling him onto the one next to me. the park is small and looks to be deserted a small double swing set, a slide, and a couple bouncy seats that's it. hopefully where aloud to be here.
"Jake we need to talk I have to tell you some things."
"If it's the reason why you've been hating me then please tell me because I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with not knowing."
" I never hated you that was the issue."
"I don't get it." he stands up standing in front of my swing. I pull him onto my lap before Turing his face towards me. I gently and quickly place my lips on his taking In as much as I could before I pull away.
"I like you." I barley whisper I feel slightly ashamed for what I just did. what if he didn't want to kiss me.
"But ... I ... we need to go back to the bus I'm sorry."
"Me too."
He doesn't run from me he walks besides me quietly to the bus I should say something but what would I say.
(Jakes pov)
Why did I turn away from him? iv been longing to feel his lips sense I gave him CPR at the river. I'm so confused right now he is what I want I know that. but he's my best friend how would that work? how would we work? whAt if we didn't? who would I turn to? I would be alone... But does this leave us in any better shape. iv never felt awkward around him before now.
