Day dreaming for me is my... happy place. So many things come at me from different directions that sometimes I need to zone out. What do I think about? Let's see.
I think about what kind of relationships I could have, how I want to be treated, death, or even about nothing. We all have our own ways of relaxing and blocking out things you don't need. I zone out. A LOT!! I actually did it for about 20 minute just sitting in my room thinking about nothing. I mean literally nothing.
It's actually good for me to take a break from reality. I think about my future and how it's going to be like. How I will look, my family, my boyfriend that has a mysterious face, and all that gushy stuff. but it's not all hopes and dreams.
Certain days I think about cutting, suicide, going to jail, overdose, getting taken. When its all over my friends and family treat me differently like I'm not myself. Sometimes even cutting me out of the picture and I'm just invisable. Now, this is all just thinking in clases, lunch, dinner, and when I sleep.
What I thought about today was to cut myself. Every vein I saw, I would cut it and hear a pop. I lost a lot of blood and without thinking, I fall asleep. Then I never wake up. Now I'm not looking through my eyes, it's like watching a movie. In slow motion the door finally opens, thinking it's my family. But no one walks in. My dead body laying on my bed full of blood. This is all just a dream and I was hanging out with my friend during the time I was zoning out.
I feel like I have nothing to live for. I have friends that haven't said one nice comment about me in my whole life, a sister who is a bad influce on me, and me trying to get aproval from people at my school. You shouldn't feel how I feel. Do not get other people's aproval for what you wear, your makeup, and your curves. You will lose your self. I already have. I lost it to where I can't find all the broken pieces to put me back together. You don't want and most certainly don't need that kind of feeling. You need to be your self. I know you here that phrase all the time, but once you lose it, you can never get it back.
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We All Fall Apart
RandomIt's about the author and my day to day feelings. How my feels about life, about myself, and even answering your questions. I would like to help others and also help myself. Some of you will disagree or agree on most things that has actually happene...
