Rumors spread like wildfire.
You can never stop them.
If you slip up it will spread to everyone.
So I isolate myself.
I keep all of my emotions in.
So I don't have to go though the humiliation of the truth.
Like who I love.
I am in a school full of people who think how I love is sick.
Whenever someone shows weakness they will exploit it.
When I get hurt my friends will find the one who did it.
But when I am hurt I keep it to myself.
Because I don't want anyone else to get hurt.
So it keeps going.
Teachers say you should tell a teacher if a student is being bullied.
But they say when it's physical to tell immediately.
What about emotional?
Something small can grow to a large mountain of therapy and pills.
I'm not saying that I have the worst bullying experiences ever.
But it isn't the best.
Each day I look at my pill bottles and wonder what would happen if I take them all.
But I don't take a handful because I'm scared.
The brave ones do it.
But I'm a coward.
Each day I hit my leg with anything on hand until it feels like ground beef.
A sketch book,
A text book,
The metal leg of a desk,
And even my own hand.
I sometimes check the damage that I did.
My leg is redder then raw meat.
But I keep doing it.
No on notices.
And I doubt anyone will.
My pills keep my emotions from exploding.
I just want to take them all so I can feel nothing.
So I don't have to react to anything.
