For the Better

One.

I think secretly, my father only married my mother because he was in denial of his true identity. Even if somebody told my mother this, she would deny it and insist that nobody in her family is gay, especially her husband.

I can feel my head sink onto my shoulders and I get sad. Rosalee gets really upset whenever my mother makes me go to these work functions. Even though she knows that I will never be interested in one of these men, she still gets sad to know that I have to talk and dance with them, which I fully understand. Honestly, I get sad too, knowing that I have to flirt and entertain these people that I will never want to be in a relationship with.

"Oh, Julianna? One more thing." I turn my head around but am still looking at the floor, too upset to look my hurtful mother in the eyes. She continues, knowing that I am listening, "you need to start thinking about your future. You are eighteen, after all. You need to start settling down and make sure you are married by the age of twenty like I was. You know that's the age. I really think Alexander would be the perfect choice for you. He will be taking over the business very soon and I hear that he is looking to settle down. If you would like to talk about it, we can." I simply respond by telling her that I am going to be late for school and slowly walking away.

I can't believe she just told me that I have to marry a man. Most mothers want their daughters to go to college, get a good education and a stable career, and then settle down and get married. My mother, on the other hand, would rather me marry a man and do absolutely nothing with my life, rather than be happy with the woman I love and in a career I love.

I pull out my phone after I am far enough from the house, so my mother can't open the door and hear me. I hear a half of a ring before the sweet voice of my Rosalee answers. The corners of my mouth turn into a slight smile. That girl can always lift my mood, even if it's just a tad.

"Good morning, beautiful! How did you sleep?" she asks. This is the normal routine for us, so she shouldn't expect that anything is wrong.

"Good morning, Rosalee. I slept okay. How did you sleep?" I'm sure she can tell in my voice that I am close to tears.

"What's wrong?" She confirms what I am thinking. I am usually very positive and happy, especially when I am talking to her.

"My mother." That's all I had to say for her to understand.

"She said something again?"

"Yes. She told me this morning that she is planning another gala for my dad's office."

"Well, that's not too bad. All you have to do is stand around and talk to people, right? Maybe she'll make you dance with a few boys, but that's not worth tears, is it?"

"That's not just it. She wants me to start thinking about my future. She wants me to settle down and she thinks my dad's boss's son would be the perfect candidate."

"Wouldn't that be a little awkward for your dad and his boss if their kids were together?" She always has to throw a little joke in to try and cheer me up.

"Haha, Rosie. No, she wants me to marry this guy. She wants me to marry him in enough time to start having kids by the time I'm twenty. Rose, I can't do that. I can't marry a man in the next year. I can't even marry a man at all. Why can't she understand that I'm happy? Why can't she see that I don't want to be with a guy?" I can feel the tears well in my eyes. At this point, I don't even try keeping them in. They flow down my face and I don't even bother trying to wipe them off.

"Jules, take a deep breath. We can figure this out. We can get through this together. Do you want me to talk to your mother? You know I will if you want me to."