Letters UNSENT * Perfectly Imperfect Love

Matter of Time

Dearest A,   Oct 22,14
I knew it was only a matter of time before you finally started to realize that my mood shifted. I was very quite, shut down and lost among my own thoughts. I apologize for keeping my  silence  and providing you with no other option but to try and find the truth and reasoning behind my becoming cold and shut down. Due to my past actions you now possess the ability to only think the worst of the worst when it comes to trying to figure me and what I could possibly be up to now. I can tell for a sure fact that you were ,with out a doubt,  100% completely incorrect about last night.  I honestly can not express how aware I am of the the pain that is attached to my past poor decision making and selfishness. I will forever be remorseful, apologetic, embarrassed, ashamed and regretful for my poor decision making and for allowing the destruction of our relationship. I take ownership of the fact that I have created the uncertainty inside your heart  and I have stolen your ability to trust and believe in me. You have such a unwillingness to let go of somethings, and assume the worst. 
But this letter is not to go over issues we are both already aware of. I started to write you a letter a few days ago, the letter reads:

My Dearest Aaron, October 20th 1014
~A Perfectly Imperfect Love~ How is love perfect? Everyone fights. Everyone falls. Every relationship has its flaws. What if its imperfections make it perfect? I never thought the day would come, where I would find someone to love me as I am. To understand me even when I may not. I never thought I'd see the day, where someone could make me feel this way. You've only loved me, and I love you. I never thought I'd find someone who makes me feel the way I do. I never thought that we would fight. I never dreamed that I would fall. I'd never admit this relationship had its flaws. But I love you anyways. This love we share for all to see, this perfectly imperfect love,was made by you and me,  I knew that when I met you I had found a special soul. A lifetime of love To have and to hold.  But all you got from me were struggles, A path of ups and downs and you patiently waited as I tried to figure it out, I tried so many times to give you the perfect me, But somewhere deep inside I was lost internally  You were such a perfect love and an even better friend Everything I could ever want But I would never let you in. I  tried so hard to overcome my fear but still I was afraid of what allowing you in would do.  I am sorry if my insecurities Caused pain inside your heart. It was never my intention To leave a lasting scar. I regret every single day That I was not what you need and all I ever gave was the most imperfect me.