Gwendalynn: The Girl With Cancer

Gwendalynn | Gwen OneShot #1

That's when it finally sunk in. I was really gone. I wasn't coming back. I was somewhere where no one could see me or find me, but I could see all of them. You don't hear about these things. You hear about ghosts and spirits, but what am I?

"And now, Gwen's boyfriend, Kyle, would like to say a few words." my father finally spoke, breaking me from my fearful thoughts and lifting a hand towards Kyle.

I watched Kyle stare at my father, a little confused. I had a feeling he didn't listen to much of what my father had said, and I couldn't blame him. Slowly, Kyle stood up, holding the papers even tighter and probably creating wrinkles. He slowly advanced towards us. It almost felt like he was looking at me, like he could see me, but when he came too close to me, I moved to the side, so that I wouldn't have to witness him going through me. I wasn't sure if he actually could, but I could literally feel him when I touched him and I couldn't put myself through him. It was a confusing thing to explain and I didn't want to think about it.

When Kyle stood in front of the podium next to me, I wrapped my hand around his again, hearing my father whisper to him, "Don't be afraid to stop holding it in."

Kyle nodded. My parents both went back to sit down. And then Kyle began to speak.

"Good afternoon. My name is Kyle Hastings. Some of you may know me, but as George said, I'm Gwen's boyfriend."

I watched Kyle stare at the papers, but his eyes didn't move. I wasn't sure if he was actually reading the words or not.

"I met Gwen when she was fourteen and I was fifteen. When I first met her, she hadn't started chemotherapy. I still remember the way she asked me for my name and why I was working there, um, at the hospital. It was obvious I didn't fit in. I didn't tell her and she understood. I wasn't exactly friendly, but her personality reached out to me."

I smiled slightly, staring at him with such adoration. Then he said words that made my heart stop. Well, if my heart was beating. Either way, my breath stopped. Or if I was breathing.

"I had never met someone so perfect in my life."

He took a breath. I put a hand on his cheek, but he showed no reaction.

"A year later, I fell in love with her."

I laughed slightly, happiness radiating through my body.

"When she had no hair, bruises from her cancer, and was weak. That's when I fell in love with her. I remember realizing how beautiful she was when she smiled. I remember her saying that she didn't want to be seen from anyone outside the hospital, that she wanted to be kept hidden. I even shaved my head for her to support her chemo."

When he came to visit me and I saw him with a shaved head, it was something I never felt before. So much warmth and elation had gone through me that day. I never believed someone like Kyle could love me to that extent.

"But that's not enough for her. That will never be enough for her. She deserved so much more than what I offered." Kyle let a tear fall from his eye.

Yes it was, Ky. It was enough for me. You offered so much. You offered everything.

"I remember... I remember our first date."

His voice began to shake, causing me to blink furiously.

Don't cry, Kyle. Stop crying.

"I remember telling her I loved her. Something I never knew the true meaning of until she came into my life. I know that sounds cliché and all, but I never cared for any other girl the way I did for Gwendalynn."

The way my full name fell from his lips did things to me that words can't explain. I hated my full name, but Kyle made it sound perfect. I wanted to hear it again and again and again.

"I've told her so many times that I've loved her. But now, it seems like that can't even describe the enormous feelings I have for my girlfriend. I, um... I remember when she told me that she loved me for the first time."

That day was awful. That was the worst day of my life, the worst thing I could ever do to such an amazing guy, cheating on Kyle. He didn't deserve that. He deserved a better girlfriend than that. He deserved a better confession than what I gave.

"I have never... felt... so happy in my entire life... until she said those words."

Now he was beginning to sob and so did I.

"And when she went back to the hospital, all I could think was: where did it all go wrong?"

I don't know, Kyle. I don't know.

"She... meant so much to me... and now she's gone... I wish I could see her again... Just one more time..."

By now, the entire room was crying. I was crying. Kyle was crying. Who knew I meant so much to the people around me.

"I might not know many of you here personally, but I do know that she loved you all. I know that she knows you all love her. I know she knows that I love her."

I do. I do. I do.

Kyle swiped a few tears away before clearing his throat.

"If I could do anything for Gwen, I'd take away everything bad that's happened to her and put it all on me. Everything. And many of you probably think that I'm too young to know what love is. But I do know what it is."

His voice cracked and his lip began to tremble. His eyes squinted as the tears trailed down his cheeks.

"I love Gwen. I know she's in a better place right now. And I'm glad that it's all over for her. So she can finally feel good again. That's all she really deserved - to feel good instead of sick."

Suddenly, a loud creaking sound came from the first pew. My father got up from his position and proceeded to walk towards us. He rubbed Kyle's shoulder encouragingly. Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose as my dad hugged my boyfriend.

"It's okay, son. It's okay." he whispered.

"No it's not." Kyle replied.

I finally let out a sob.

It's okay, Kyle. I swear I'm with you. Stop crying. You have to stop crying. Please stop crying.

"Kyle, sweetie?" my mother said, touching his forearm.

Kyle sniffed and pulled away from my dad. My boyfriend looked like he was in so much pain as he walked over to the pew. I watched as Kory and Julianna hugged him when he sat back down. I stood, standing in front of my entire family. I could see them all but they couldn't see me.

As time went on, I still clung to Kyle. I stood next to him through everything. It was funny to see how surprised he was when he saw someone who was blonde approach him that was actually part of my family and not his. He had mentioned once that it seemed like my entire family was brunette, but now he was proven wrong.

The woman was Maggie. She was my second cousin.

"Kyle, right?" she said.

Kyle nodded.

"That was a lovely speech. I'm sure you meant everything to her, too."

I smiled.

He does. And he will forever.

-- Dedicated to Free_with_lies because of her AWESOME comment below. I'm especially happy that although she mentioned The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, she did not compare mine and his story. I was very pleased by that. Thank you, sweetie. Your comment definitely made my day.