~•ENDANGERED •~

17. When it's apart...

The bright lights and the bright smiles seem to be making me sick.

"I'm fine" his face might convince me of that, but he's behavior fails to do so.

"No, you're not" I'm sighing.

"Then why did you ask?" his voice is cold.

I have no answer to that. With Jason I seem out of words at times and he just loves torturing me.

"This is is not fun, we should leave" I'm telling him.

"I -"

"I want to get far away from you as possible" my own words shock me, because I mean each one.

He is taking my hand and before I think he cares , I'm being dragged across the place like a child and eyes are on us, but he doesn't care and I'm just angry to care too.

My hand is now inside the pocket of my jacket.

"Let's go" he doesn't care to look at me. I'm sure when I leave this Town he'll be my last thought and I will hate him so much  that when we meet again they'll be nothing for us.

I'm sitting next to him. All the strength is being used to jeep the tears away from my face, because I can't let him see me cry and I already hate my self for being this tied to him, I can't give my self too much reason to hate my own self.

The silence is hurting me and his hands are far from the wheel, but are hidden away and his head is on the wheel.

"I want to go home, Jason" I'm reminding him, because I think he has forgotten that.

He doesn't move or say a word.

"Why are we still here?" I'm now annoyed.

His hands grip the wheel so tight his knuckles are turning white and my head is telling me to just leave, call someone to pick me up and forget about Jason. Just pack my bags and leave this place.

My small hand is already on the handle, ready to turn away and never look back. To let Jason be a memory and for me to continue looking, searching until I find whatever it is that I'm looking for.

Saying goodbye now will be easier. Just go, Cindiey.

Maybe this is my chance.

Maybe he knows it too.

"Just do it" his voice is filled with too much emotion , for Jason.

"Do what?" I'm shocked by that.

"What you've always wanted" he says, his head still looking down.

"You mean you want me to leave? Say it!"  the only thing that is coming out of my mouth is not pleasant and I'm too angry and confused to pull away at the pieces.

"It's what you want" his voice is calmer than mine.

"You don't know what I want!" he's making me even more angrier.

"Yes, I do. You want to go, because it'll be easier that way" he just shot at my heart.

"Are you calling me a coward?" I'm asking with a shaky voice and a bleeding heart.

"I'm just telling you the truth. You want to go? Go" he's just aiming at hurting me.

I'm not that kind of girl.

"You know what? You're right I'm a coward, I'm going to pack my things and leave" it pains me to tell him this, but it's what I need to tell him. "And when I do, I'll be dead before the day we meet again"