Snapped

Hermione

"Mudblood," the word came out smooth. It rolled along his tongue like the sharpened pit of a cherry, cutting me. For years the same insult had been tearing me apart, "you're in my way." I was pathetic. Wearily, I stepped to the side. He held a slip of parchment, crookedly folded about the center. The Dr of his first name peaked out from the parchment, crafted from elegant loops. He and Zabini both dropped their names into the goblet, blissfully unaware of the true extent of the Triwizard Tournament.

***
Potions seemed to continue on forever. I sat alone, cutting ginger into seven equal parts.

"Ms. Granger," I recognized the condescending tone to my professor's voice. My eyes lifted of their own accord, but my shoulders remained slumped. He sighed as if I'd single handedly sucked the joy from his spirit. Without another word to me he handed over an essay, folded inward in the international symbol of failure. Well there's nothing new. My grades this year consisted of failure after bitter failure. Not bothering to turn the parchment over I shoved it messily into my bag, trying in vain to focus on the potion.

I imagined Harry's comforting smile, he'd squeeze my knee and assure me that there was more to life than essays and good marks. The ice that clenched my heart at the knowledge that I'd never see... I took a deep breath, but it was no use. Every moment I spent away from Ron, every moment wasted without Harry was pointless.

I came back to Hogwarts. I tried, but their stories were delicately woven within every sodding inch of the castle. There was no where I could go without hearing Harry speculating about Voldemort. There wasn't a moment when I didn't feel Ron's heavy arm on mine and then just like that it was too much. There was a snapping noise, whatever it was broke clean...like a bone. Without a second thought I was out of my seat, dragging my bag after me.

I could hear Snape deducting points for my disruption. Someone that sounded vaguely like Malfoy was going on about the jumped up Mudblood, but it didn't matter. I was done with this. There was no where I could hide from this pain. That snake took everything I'd ever loved. He took my friends. He took my family. His quest for power now haunted the only home I had left.

I couldn't take it.

I wouldn't take it.

My breath violated my throat. Running to the astronomy tower had nearly given me an asthma attack. Good, maybe if I died of a natural cause I could still get into heaven. When it became clear that my running hadn't done me in I finished my climb to the tower. It only seemed right that I jump. It would be cleansing. It would be symbolic.

For a moment I enjoyed the wind lifting my hair. I relished the feeling of the sun baked stone that my hands rested on. I imaged Ron's smile. I let the happiness that always followed it roll through me. One by one the Weasley's filled my mind and heart, causing a ghost of a smile to kiss my lips. My parents invaded my minds eyes, they were holding me, promising me that it would all be okay. Then there was Harry. As his memory surrounded me I began to climb up onto the ledge, slipping my shoes and socks off as I went. The ground below was inviting. My previous fear of heights evaporated into nothing. Another autumn breeze whipped around me, taunting me. Soon I'd be nothing more than a smear on the grass below and suddenly that wasn't good enough.

I was the brightest witch of my age. My death wouldn't be marked solely by a mess of blood and guts. I scurried back down, ripping my discarded essay in half. My quill was scribbling furiously as I wrote. When I made sure nothing had been left out I sent the letter to Malfoy. He could live with the guilt or he could not care, I didn't care anymore.

My burden would fall with me, dragging me down faster than my own weight. I'd have my friends back. I'd have my family back. Ignoring my lack of balance, I wrapped my arms around myself to contain the joy that filled me at the thought. So long as I knew they were waiting for me I had nothing to fear.

Giddy with anticipation I turned my back to the world, crossing my arms over my chest as if I were a bungee jumper. My heart was hammering in my chest, causing my blood to run hot. Even my breathing was shaky and shallow, it proved I was sick. It proved that I needed my family. It proved that I no longer belonged here. Time ticked by as I gathered my nerve. This was for them. This was for closure. This would stop the pain.

A few more heavy moments passed before I took one last breath and tipped backwards.

The door slammed open, followed by a chorus of obscenities. Malfoy and Zabini stood there in the doorway, staring at me, relief in their expressions, but I refused to be held back by their interruptions. I wiggled my fingers at them in a bit of a goodbye, and with a bitter smirk I stepped off of the ledge into the unforgiving embrace of gravity.

On the bright side? I was free.