Our Ovary Obituaries: Ovituaries

Lost to Ian

Today, we recognize amd mourn the loss of Talia's ovaries, who were born on July 7, 2003. They lived a very easy, and painless life, until that day. On June 4, 2014, Talia's ovaries came upon Ian Somerhalder, who plays Damon in the Vampire Diaries. Not knowing the pain he was causing Talia and other girls' ovaries, Ian released pictures of himself during his time as a model. These pictures and many more of Ian led to Talia's ovaries diagnosis of HMS. Hot man syndrome has taken thousands of innocent fangirls' ovaries, and has put them 6 feet under. As far as we know there is no cure for HMS. By definition, HMS occurs when one's ovaries cannot stand the heat of another human being. So much so that too much exposure to hot people could cause them to burst. The more and more Talia looked at Ian, the weaker and weaker her ovaries grew. Then, it happened. On September 3rd 2016, Talia met Ian Somerhalder, who in her eyes, was the hottest man to ever walk the face of the Earth. He took her in his arms, and kissed her hand. That kiss, was the final blow. Talia's ovaries were no more. Rest In Peace Talia's ovaries. We will always remember. And as for the rest of us with living ovaries, we need to take caution, for too much exposure to hot human beings, can take you down too. This obituary is not just for Talia's ovaries, but for all of the fallen ovaries we have lost since Ian's existence. The funeral will be held in Ian Somerhalder's house. All of you who are survivors of HMS or those of you who have lost someone to HMS, are welcome to come. RIP Talia's ovaries...