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O N E: This Love's Really Made Me Sick!

O N E: This Love's Really Made Me Sick!

Nathaniel Matthew Williams

Why am I so NUMB?

I couldn't feel the harsh November draft clawing against my bare neck, nor can I hear the usual snickers and gossip that plagued every corner of the cafeteria. All color in the room started becoming saturated, distorted beyond my comprehension. Fries and soda became water.Every time Ryan opens his mouth, all I'd hear was a deafening static pouring out of it.

Wait. That was normal for him.

Never mind, continue.

God, what is happening to me? I've never felt this light-headed before...

Maybe I'm sick. Lovesick. Wait, what?

"Nathan, you've been staring at my nonexistent breasts for a while – you alright?"

Before I could snap out of my trance, a thin hand started waving inches away from my face. "Yeah, I'm still alive." Blinking, I smiled and pushed it back to Ryan. "Your hand smells weird."

Whatever I said made him grin from ear-to-ear like a little kid. "Brownies! You like them?"

My left eyebrow rose. "Like, actual brownies?" My eyes dart downwards, and sure enough, there was a half-full box of the aforementioned pastries right in front of him, coupled with – hot damn – so much crumbs everywhere. "Where'd you get them?"

"Somewhere special~" That stupid grin was still on his face. Were these brownies what I think they were?

The plan was reaching out, grabbing one and feast on it like the prince I am had Ryan not yank them away and – "Did you just HISS at me? Woah, I thought you were clean, man! I didn't know you do--"

"I am!" He scrunches up his nose and bites down slowly into another one. I hold my hands up, signaling peace. Ryan relaxes back into his seat. "This is Heaven tastes like; they're hard on the outside but super soft in the inside and the nuts! The nuts! Oh man..."

"I didn't let you sit with me here to watch you moan about your brownie fetish."

"But you'd still let me sit here with you even if you knew I'd moan about my brownie fetish."

Touché.

Letting out a low chuckle, my lips pressed against the straw of my drink and I just let myself sink back into the solemnity of my own innermost thoughts. I put the cup down, staring off into the distance.

She was right there, peacefully chatting with her friends a couple of tables away from us.

I know she was playing with me -- she had to be ; she'd turn her head ever so often just enough to catch me looking, she'd laugh a little louder just to get my attention and she'd do little gestures and signals to see if I was still... what is wrong with me? 
There is no way I am hyperbolizing every little thing this girl makes! I'm better than that! 

"Hyperbolizing -- big word, dickbag." Whoops -- Did I say that out loud?

I groan into my palm, letting Ryan drown me in his 'words of wisdom'. "You know, for Prince Charming, you're clueless when it comes to love. What a shame; the girls who line up just to kiss your hands can kiss their chances of romance adieu."

"I'm not THAT clueless."

"Sure." He raises a brow. "Still thinking about Francine?" Either it was worry or mockery in his tone, I have no idea.

"Well," I turn my head, resting my chin on my palm. "I wasn't until you mentioned her name." The fact I still get jittery whenever I hear that name still proves her little spell's still in effect on me.

Ryan's face droops dramatically. "Oh no! Did I mention the F-word, Daddy? Will I get punished for saying a dirty word?"

I looked at him, blue to brown.

My fingers lock on my tray.

I stand up.

"Wait! I was kidding! Holy hell, can't you take a joke for once?! " I sit down.

"I wonder what you'll do if you were in my position; hearing a fully-fledged teenager say 'Daddy' out loud." I sigh, fighting the urge to smile along.

Ryan snorts. "I wouldn't mind."

"Of course you wouldn't." Damn it, I'm laughing.

Soft hazel eyes look up at me, losing their bliss and narrowing slightly. "There's that little devil I know. Welcome back, Satan."

I cock my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"You've been so gone lately and preoccupied that it's so rare to see you loosen up and smile for a bit." Ryan runs a hand through his brown, unkempt mane, still grinning at me. "I know you'd do anything to get your Cinderella, but come on; Maximilian High still needs its crowned prince."

I stop.

"I mean, it's cool you're dedicated to her and been putting so much effort and time to make her happy and all, but don't you think maybe you're losing too many pieces of yourself trying to fix her?" He was right, I won't lie.

Sleepless nights trying to find the perfect gifts for her birthday and whatever, constant battles in my head just because of my appearance and even losing some friends trying to – what the hell is wrong with me?

I wasn't like this before!

Is this what love really does to people?

No wonder girls in those Teen Fiction books were so sappy; this feeling's got you on the edge constantly!

My lips part, allowing a sigh to pass. "Yeah – I guess I haven't been myself lately." I awkwardly rub the back of my neck, forgetting that my hand was still moist with grease. "I don't know how to do this 'love' thing. I barely even know where to start."

"Did you finish it?" Ryan looks up.

I narrow my eyes before biting down a muted groan. "Was going to do it last night. Couldn't think of what to put so I ended up staying late without even making any progress."

"My point exactly! Which is why, we, my friend" – Ryan crushes the empty box of brownies, sending crumbs that I won't be cleaning all over the place – "are going to the arcade! Little treat of yours truly, of course. It's the most natural way to reduce stress and disgusting eyebags. You in?"

I cross my arms over my chest, uncertain; neither moved nor keen by the idea of partaking in her ways of loosening up. "Like I said, I'm not yet done writing my co" Um... "—my letter."

"Can't it wait, Nat?" Ryan pleaded. "Just for another day?"

"I'll pass." I finished, not wanting to have to bicker with this blabbermouth. "Tests are next week and I'd really, really rather not."

Ryan grumbles under his breath, averting his eyes away from me. "You are so head over heels for this girl."

I smirk. "This prince is still hunting down for his Cinderella, remember?"

I take my tray and bid him a quick goodbye before turning around and making my way out of the cafeteria.

"It's going to take more than just a glass slipper to your head to knock you back into reality, huh?" Ryan mumbles to himself, folding the carton and stuffing it into the trashcan before going the opposite direction

I snickered. 

[ S. W. S! ] 

Trying out a new style of writing really is something else. 

- Mattie.