Therapy

chapter 1

Colleens pov:
"Michael?" I shouted into his room. I see a body lying there yet no movement to my voice. "Michael, mom has been calling for you for the past 20 minutes" I say and shake him. He still doesn't wake up so I peel the blankets off of him and he doesn't even flinch. I shake him and he isn't responding. Fear starts to take over me as nothing is waking him. "Michael!! Michael!!" I start shouting at the lifeless body of my brother. The words still ringing in my head.

I wake up to my mom shaking me. "Colleen, it's ok" she says as she cradles me. "Another one?" she asks and I just nod my head. "Well you have a therapy appointment today, we can tell her about it" I just sigh.

I hate therapy appointments. She doesn't care about me or my situation. She only cares about the money. "Do I have to?" I mutter. "Yes sweetheart, it will help you cope" she says as she continues to rock me. "Do you want me to stay here?" she asks, however I know she wants to go back to her room. "You can go" I say and crawl back into my cold bed.

   She kisses my head and turns off the lights. After about 10 minutes when I know she's asleep I grab the key to Michaels room which mom thinks she hid well and go inside. Mom never let's me go into his room because it's just a constant reminder that he's gone. I lay down on his bed and cuddle his teddy bear, which he named Collie.

   I sleep soundly knowing Michael is in my presence and protecting me from the reoccurring nightmares. I'm woken up by my mom yelling at my dad. "She can't keep going in there" she's killing herself. "Well wouldn't that be easier at this point?" he says back softly yet sincerely. My heart drops.

   It throws me back to when I did indeed try to kill myself. Damn, that was rough. I was hanging on by a thread. If it wasn't for Rachel I wouldn't be here right now. She needs a big sister in her life and I couldn't leave her. I cut though, for a while. It was rough. But eventually my mom decided to take me into a therapist. I figured the sooner I quit cutting the sooner I could stop going to the therapist so I stopped.

   I shut my eyes and tuned them out. I was tired, as usual. I wanted to continue dreaming about when life was good. So I did and it's about the only thing that keeps me sane.