Damian's Journey x3[FTM]

The Mask -That's the face you will meet.

6.15.2016. 

My name is Darlene;well at least that is what everyone thinks my name is. 

My real name is Donovan,but nobody know's that yet. Today is just like any other day, I throw on a pink top with a vneck and some cute jeans, throw on my favorite snapback hat after throwing on my favorite pair of air jordans. Everyone thinks this is how I should look. Now I know better;I shouldn't have to wear pink or constantly have these bags of fat hanging out all the time but everyone seems  to think they are okay. 

I step inside my car that all my friends want to come to school in and I head out saying a quick bye to my ma and pa and little sis. Last night I spent the night. I go to college, but right now I am only in my freshman year so that requires me to take all the incredibly boring classes  such as Alegebra,English, and other classes that are mandatory before I can get into the good classes such as psychology,forensics,and mechanics. 

Everyone thinks I have it all. What they don't know is that what I want most;I can't have. 

Let me explain. I was suppose to be a guy---the star of the quarterback;not the leader of the cheerleading team. Just like every other day I spend with my 'friends' I pretend to enjoy the gossip as I contemplate if I will ever be able to come out to anyone without losing everything I have had and everything everyone else has always wanted. All the girls envied me.  But me? I envied all the guys, they have what I should have been born with. They take for granted the fact that they don't have to pretend and live a lie every day of their life. 

I was never one for pink, it seems though to be the favorite amongst females. As a child that grew up in a family that was suppose to look perfect, I mastered the art of posing as the perfect female;well as most society views anyways. I was the exact opposite of what I pretended to be. I threw on a mask so finely and put the act on so thorougly, it might as well have been Halloween everyday. But this was me. This was my life. I have it all....I shouldn't want more right? I was only a freshman and I already had all the neccessary grades for other colleges to want me;to fight for me. I was a freshman and all the senior guys and girls wanted to be around me---the guys wanted my phone number, the girls wanted my fashion tips. I had the car everyone wanted to ride in, but no one else could afford. I had everything anyone could ask for and yet, I wanted more. I didn't care about the car or any of the material possessions that made my life what others would call 'comfortable'. I wanted to be me. 

Today I wanted to throw my mask out the door and burn it to ashes before sweeping it up and flushing it down the toilet for good. But I couldn't do that. I had to keep this up. Day in, Day out. Darlene this, Darlene that, Darla Sweetheart, yes ma'am, sure Princess, okay Angel, no one could see that I wasn't this Darlene chick that they thought I was. I really perfected the mask so thoroughly that no one saw that I was Donovan. I guess I could always be an actor when I grew older---after all I have played pretend long enough to be able to keep whatever part they wanted  me to play.

Well today was just like any other day and it was time for another game of dress up and life;so with my mask perfectly put over my face, I stepped out of the car of the friends I picked up on the way and made my way towards my first class.