Escape (A Lil Bibby Story)

Chapter 21

"Can we.. Talk Ari?"

"Go head" She spoke stiffly.

"Can we go inside my crib? It'll be betta there"

She quickly looked up at me hesitant. "Just for a few minutes" I pleaded with my eyes. I never had to Eva beg no girl, I wasnt that type of nigga to do that but Of Course with Ari.. It's different.

She sighed giving In. "Fine"

I had to make things right with My Ari.

Ar'mariah

We stepped into His house, the cold Ac soothing my skin from the heated sun. I stepped into living room and decided to just stand.

He came and stood right in front of me. I read the apology in his eyes before he could even speak.

"Look I know I fucked up shit between us... Bad.." I could tell he started to feel vulnerable under my Intense stare when His eyes Adverted to the ground. 

"When we fucked I knew you would be looking for a relationship next but.. To be honest with you.. I just didn't know if I was ready for a relationship, I was afraid of breakin ya heart." I stared at him in shock. Bibby... Was actually admitting to being afraid. It made my heart skip a beat.

He continued to admit his wrongs.
"So I ignored you and to stop myself from thinking of you, I started drinking heavy and was with all kinda girls" He looked into my eyes.

"But baby girl, I'm sorry" He apologized.

"I'm sorry for hurting you Baby" He held onto my hands as he stared into my eyes pouring his heart out. I was a bit speechless. I looked away quickly before I fell for him. I had to remind myself.

"You're with Mario, Ari."

"I forgive you Bibby" I paused unsteadily.

"What's wrong Baby?" He asked me. I could feel his eyes piercing through me as I stared at the ground.

I just wanted to jump into his arms at that moment and just forget about everything else and we move on with our lives together, but I know couldn't do that, it'll be the wrong thing to do.

I was to the point of frustration, I was torn in two about this shit.

"FUCK, why do you do this to me Bibby?" I asked frustration shooting through my voice as I finally looked up at him.

He furrowed his brows as his eyes filled with confusion.
"What you mean Ari? Do what?"

"Make everything so hard? Every time I try to move on you pop up, I just can never ESCAPE from you" I cried.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" My voice Cracked and was almost at a whisper. This was causing me so much pain and all I could do was question why?. In a blink of an eye Life just started spiraling out of control.

"Because you are My escape." He confessed emphasizing his words. I froze my eyes softening as I stared into his doleful eyes. They were emitting with gloom and almost begged for acceptance making my heart instantly break. He was under pressure And he knew the only way to diminish the tension was to admit his feelings.

For a person like him it was an uncomfortable situation when you love someone but because of your hard shell was afraid to admit it.

He continued to speak when I didn't.

"When I'm with you, I forget about all the bullshit in life. When you Hug me, I can feel all the love you have for me, sometimes it's uncomfortable because a nigga ain't Neva felt that befoe'. And when you smile, My Whole mood change and All My Worries go right out the window. When you talk to me, you give me motivation to keep goin in life.. And When you laugh and I see all the joy on yo face, it remind me how beautiful life is and I could enjoy life too."  He paused grabbing my hand again.

"Ar'mariah.. I love you.. And wanna be with you"

I stared at him as a tear fell down my face. I was not only Cryin cause he finally opened up and poured his heart out to me but because he did it a little too late.

I opened my mouth to speak but I didn't have enough courage to say it. I took a deep breath and tried again while wiping tears away.

"Say something Ari" He spoke impatiently.

"I can't do it Brandon" I shook my head. "I.. I want you, I really do but.. It's just.. I'm with someone else now- Dammit Bibby why you wait so late to tell me this" I placed my hand on my forehead and threw my head back.

"Who?" He asked quickly.

I looked at him, his eyes had harden, I couldn't tell him I was with Mario, ain't no telling how he would react. But I knew it wouldn't be good.

I shook my head and removed my hand from his and tried to walk away but failed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back in front of him.

"Who's the nigga Ar'mariah?"

Luckily, his doorbell rung. I Thanked God silently.

I was gonna take this opportunity to leave.

He looked at the door and then back at me before going to answer it.

"Damn nigga what took yo ass so long?" I could hear Squeak say.

I came into the foyer and Slipped right past Squeak and Maneski in the doorway.

"Aye Lil Bit" Squeak said confusingly.

"Hey y'all" I mumbled and continued out the door.

"What happen G?" I could hear Maneski ask as the door closed. I didn't even care to hear the rest. I ran into the house and into my room to hear my music playing realizing I had left it on.

And as if on cue, Deep by Auburn started playing.

" It still hurts, Yeah, Remember when, it was you and me, Wasting time, it was chemistry, All the things we did,
It was magic, but now it's gone, gone,
He ain't no you, and I ain't no her,
But I know if we'd tried, Baby, we could've worked, And you may see me smilin' Try and cover the hurt... But baby I need you to know... I'm still in love with you, And I just can't let it go, Baby I just don't know what else to do, So I gotta let you know...You cut me deep, deep, Deep, deep, I never knew it hurt so bad... Boy you cut me deep, deep,Deep, deep, After I gave you all I had,"

All the tears I held in came rushing down my face as I broke down. I put my head in my hands as I continued to cry uncontrollably, it was an agonizing pain in my heart.

I was falling apart and just wish this would all over, I wished we could go back to how things use to be but that, that wasn't possible.

I crawled into my bed and laid down crying myself to sleep.