Ours- Colby Brock

Chapter 3

_After lunch_

I went outside cause I know that Colby would find me if I was in the school building. I went over to some bench o haven't really noticed before and say down.

So many kids are outside having such a wonderful time playing... and laughing...and smiling. I wish I was like that...how I used to be.

Some group of kids were just running around and having great times together...

I pulled out my books from my backpack and started doing some of my homework cause I know I'll feel even worse about myself if I just keep staring at them. Plus I look like a creep.

While I was writing I felt someone coming towards me.

I looked up and I felt my stomach turn.

"Writing homework now cause you don't have time?!"
Colby asked.

"I'm just writing cause I want to."

"Don't try to act all smart and stuff. Everybody knows that your not."

"Says the guy who doesn't even do school work."

"How do you know that loser?"

"It's obvious. And don't call me a loser."

"I'm going to call you whatever I want."

I just sighed and looked down at my books.

"Don't try to ignore me you little piece of garbage."

"Piece of garbage?"

I laughed. Why is this so funny to me?

He grabbed my hands and squeezed them.

I knew I shouldn't have laughed.

"Honestly what's y-ow your deal? Ow. I've never done anything to- ow you and you do this to me!?"

"Do you remember what happened on the day we met loser?"

Yeah I do. Worst day of my life.

"Yeah."

"That was a big mistake."

"I can tell."

He let go of my wrists and slapped me. On the same spot as last time.

I tried not to cry.

"Aren't you going to learn not to reply to me? You're so dumb. Losers like you harm themselves."

Harming....something horrible...something that I didn't want to remember..

Enough was enough...

"Leave me alone! Why are you wasting your time on a loser then? And don't you ever talk about harming. It's not nice."

"I know it's not. And don't shout at me."

"I'm doing whatever I want to. It's not fair only the one of us making up the rules. I created this game anyways didn't I? I talked to you didn't I? I messed up didn't I? Your not the only one with a screwed up life you know?! Stop caring so much about yourself! Sam told me you're doing this to me because of your past. Just know that you can't forever live in the past! I wish I could to! But no...life takes everything from us. It's not fair. But we're playing by life's rules."

He got quiet after that.

"We all make mistakes."

"But yours was the worst."
He said.

"Fair point."

He looked at me confused.

"You actually agreed with me? Oh my congrats!"
He said sarcastically.

"It's only funny to you."

"I don't care what people think."

"Neither do I."

"I don't think so. You should improve. You're so ugly I can't even look at you without cringing."

"You are now though."

"Okay "smartie" since you're the genius here tell me why don't you harm yourself?"

Why don't I? It seems like a good idea..

No...

You promised...

You did...

Remember?

"I said don't ever talk about harming again. It's not a joke. People died because of that. Because of people like you. Will you be able to live with yourself if...I killed myself because of you?"

He got quiet. He was about to say something but he didn't.

"You're going to stay quiet or what?"

"Shut up!"

What?

"Why is everybody else right? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I be living life without a worry? Why am I always wrong...."

"You're not always wrong..."

"I am. Don't fight with me."

I got quiet.

"Ever since that day...I've always been wrong. Always. Not once. Why to me?"

"You're not the only one."

He looked at me. This whole time he wasn't even looking at me but at the ground.

"I've missed my chance to run out of this. Out of this situation right now. Out of this mess. Out of...this life. I hate it. I really do. Every decision I make is wrong."

"So you're saying that...not hurting yourself is a wrong decision?"

I've never made a decision...

But I promised that I wouldn't.

"But even if I do who cares? I thought you loved watching other people get hurt?"

"I do. But not when...I love them..."