(I'm going to post a picture with the outfit every time it changes :) )
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It was about 4 months ago that I started working in the BAU and it was great! The cases were exciting and I was getting along with everyone perfectly. Especially with Reid. I liked him , I really liked him. He was easy to talk to and we shared the same interests. We both loved books, facts, and were a sucker for series. We had spent all so many nights making movie marathons.
He was like my best friend, except that I had feelings for him. But he didn't feel the same. He wasn't over his kind of ex- girlfriend. Her name was Maeve and she died in front of him as she got shot from her stalker a little over a year ago. I totally understood and it was no big surprise, because live didn't offer me much. As I was 6 my parents and my older brother were shot in a supermarket. I was there too and saw it happen. It was my fault that they died, it really was. My brother hid me in a shelf, but as the guy shot my mother I ran out of my hiding spot. The guy played some kind of maniac game and wanted my father to decide who was going to live, but he didn't say a thing. The guy leaned forward placing the gun between my eyes but then my brother shouted "Take me! Please take me!" "No me!" My dad called. "Okay let's just : eeny " He switched the gun between them." Meeny, miny" Peng! A bullet hid my brother right between his eyes. I still heard the crying and shouting from my father " and mo" Peng!
No one was left. It was just me and and the psychopath. "You know, I'm not going to kill you. You're just to cute and precious." He said nearly kind "and it wouldn't make any fun if no one survived" he said and then killed himself.
I was alone. All alone siting in the blood of my family and and the guy who murdered them. About three hours went by till someone came and rescued me . I needed 12 years of therapy till I kind of forgave myself, at least the therapist thought so. But in reality i hadn't forgiven me a single bit.
Then as I was 22 I got raped. I was drunk that night and the judge declared him for innocent I had major trust issues, depression and drinking problems, all with just 26. It made sense that Reid didn't like me back, it wasn't supposed to be.
It was a stormy night and I and Reid were the only ones left having to do our paper work.Garcia already went home. "How long do you think you'll need to finish" I asked . "Actually..." He said quickly writing down his last sentence " I'm finished" he smiled at me. "Great, me too" I said and smiled back .we packed all our stuff together, as I spotted Garcias handbag. Looks like she forgot it. I took it with me. We headed in the elevator and talked a bit as suddenly the elevator shook and the lights flicked off. Then the emergency lights flicked on. "Oh no. Oh no. That's- that's not good" Reid said and started to breath heavily. It seamed that he wasn't able to breathe regularly. He quickly pressed the emergency button. "Reid? Are you okay?" I asked concerned. "Yes - ehm no , it's just I don't like to get trapped in a metal box I have to many memories of that" he said walking around trying to concentrate. I remembered how he told me about his high school time and how everyone bullied him. They did horrible things to him and I instantly got angry and sad at the same time, because I knew these people. I wasn't one of them, I belonged to no group, I was very intelligent and skipped 4 grades, but as soon as someone started to bully someone I was there. Defending the people who couldn't defend themselves. How often had I been in the principals office, with a blue eye or a burst open lip. I changed much.
I tried to think of ways to calm him. It seemed like he was getting a panick attack. Oh no . Oh no! I took his hands "Spencer. Spencer. Hey!" His eyes were still wandering around in the room. "Stay calm. Breathe. Everything is fine . Your not in a locker, nothing is going to happen" "D-Did you know that there are around 10 deaths per year because of an elevator let alone the many injured ones." He said panicking. "But we're not one of them" I answered. God what am I supposed to do? " you don't know that" he rubbed his hand on his jeans and his chest lifted up faster. I needed to do something unexpected! I had two choices slap him or kiss him.
I looked at him. At his beautiful brown curly/wavy hair that was hanging around messy. At his bright hazel eyes, that were searching for a spot to rest. At his perfectly shaped jaw. At his lips, those full lips he liked or bit on when he was tryning to concentrate. The decision was made. I walked up to him and looked in his eyes that were trying to find out what I was doing. And then I kissed him. He defenitly didn't expect that and he held his breath. The kiss was soft, sweet. Then he took my face in his hands and backed off, so our faces were just a few centimeters apart. "W-why did you do that?" He whispered looking in my eyes. I looked in his trying to guess what he was thinking and said "in a study I read that- that when someone is starting to have a panick attack you have to do something completely unexpected a-and I-I didn't know what to do so I just .." I didn't knew what else to say, but it worked he was breathing normal again and focused on something, even if it was my face. He turned us around so I was standing against the wall and brushed softly with his thumb over my lip. I sharply held my breath. The tension getting bigger. And then he kissed me back, but this time it was different. He wanted to kiss me. It was passionate, hot ,sexy. He pressed me against the wall. Then he started to kiss my neck. This felt wrong and right at the same time. He kissed a senestive spot under my ear and I let out a little moan. Then he came back to my lips. My hands got under his shirt and his went to my waist, pulling me closer. I wanted this so bad.
Then I heard a scratching pushed Reid away and looked at the door. Just in time because the door opened and Garcia and Morgan stood at the entry. " there you are!We searched everywhere for you " Garcia said. She kept on talking but I didn't listen, my thoughts were somewhere else. What did that mean? I'm not really good with feelings and things like that and especially not when I gave to talk about mine.
