it's my favorite time of the day.
I hold my lunch tray with the deadly grip and try to maintain a normal face, preparing for what's about to come. I scan around the lunch room, and Nero my eyes when they hit their table. I lift up my chin and try to ignore them, but once again, I fail.I see you're sitting next to him. Her elbow rests on the table, and her torso is turning towards him. Her head rests upon her hands, and is covered by silky black hair. her eyes are sparkling asked she talks to him, dancing along with everywhere he speaks. His eyes dance along as well, and together they create a beautiful ballad. his leg hangs over one side of the bench, and he turns towards her completely. He pays attention to no one else, just her. Their friends that's with him. Odd, next to sam, and Jeremy and Lila next to him. there chatter amongst himself, occasionally bringing in Yumi and sam into the conversation. Just by looking at them you can tell if they're tightly knit, and you can feel the bond of their friendship.
"I used to be important to them," I think to myself. yes, I was. There was a time where they had let me in. Told me their secrets, shared memories, and most of all, trusted me. it was a very short, but very incredible time. I had always wanted to be one of them. And finally, I was. For a while, I felt like I was flying above clouds. I felt as if I could do anything. That we could do anything. I felt excepted, loved, and wanted. But immediately came to a shattering halt when he took control of me... I was gone for months. And during those months, they phot for me. They did everything they could to get me back. They didn't want their friend William back though. No, they wanted their classmate William back there acquaintance that they briefly at knowledged. they had forgotten all about William, one of them. The only remembered William Dunbar, the boy who got kicked out of his last school. The boy was a bit rebellious. The boys would never really given a chance.
i'm walking right next to them now. In that split-second, all those memories flashed before my eyes. I remember them telling me I was one of them now. I remember them initiating me. I remember being virtualized for the first time. I remember being possessed. And I remember months of darkness. The worst memory hits after. I remember finally coming back and finding myself and wanted
unwanted.
that's the feeling I get when I walk past this table. I've offered that might help, my friendship, and for her, I offered my love. But they have no interest. They have no interest in me. The boy who has so much history with them. It's as if it never even happened, and sometimes I'm convinced that I didn't. Because I'm pretty sure they convinced himself that. They put it all behind them, well I'm stuck there. It's going to be a long time before I get out. I take a deep breath as I walk past him. I've won the battle, but I get no reward. cement wall around my heart that has one so strong is crumbling slowly each day.
The pain of seeing my lost friends makes me want to turn around and run back. Back for their friendship back. Try to make them see how much I need this. How much I need them. How much I need her. It takes everyone it's of my being not to do that. Each day gets harder. I wonder just how more this wall can take. It was once strong and secure, but the pain has eroded it and broke it down. The cracks are deep, too deep to be repaired. I sit down at the table, nearby people that I do not know.
"they must think I'm ridiculous," I thought. "Sitting here all by myself," nobody knows me anymore. I hardly know myself.
I eat almost in a trance. My mind is not in the moment but instead far away. I think of when I first met Yumi. I was so entranced by her, and I still am. When I was innocent and naïve, my mind was fresh and young. Now it's scrarred from wounds that were too deep to go away. The scars will last forever. I've accepted that, but I desperately wish that they could leave. I want to forget all this and start over. Or the very least, start new.
I get up and begin to walk out of the lunch room. This time, my I stay forward. I concentrate on the wall ahead of me, making sure that I do not let myself feel any emotion. I do not see them in my preferable vision, but this time I feel no pain.
"You can only feel so much," I thought.
I've had enough for today.
••••
thank you very much for reading!
sadly this isn't my content!
this is from William's Fight For Yuri
so all credit goes to the author
you can check them out on fanfiction.
yes yes ik there's many mistakes, but please don't mind it, I'll be editing and revising soon!
