Firecracker

-26-✔️

My eyes made their way over to the back of Luke's head, seeing his hair over grown and his black t-shirt inside out.

"I said to get the f*ck out" he snapped, most likely hearing my breathing, and he spun around in the rotating chair, his eyes finally looking at me.

The bags under his eyes were no joke. And neither was the stubble on his jawline. He really needed to shave. He looked dead, tired, unhappy and unhealthy, and though I wanted so badly to help him, I didn't exactly know what I was supposed to do.

He looked at me, his expression holding shock. I knew that he didn't know that I had gotten out, or even woken up, in the hospital, so I knew that I was the last person that he was expecting to see here.

"M-Miley... what... how...I-"

"I know that it hurts," I began, watching him rise from his seat. He looked like the life and energy had been sucked out of him, and that made my heart ache even more, "It hurts me too"

His eyes glossed over in an instant, and I knew right then that he had kept everything in for the past two months. That he kept everything to himself and didn't let anyone see how much he was really hurting. And now, seeing me, knowing that I was the only one who could understand his pain like he could understand mine, he was letting his walls slip away just like that.

"It hurts a whole f*cking lot"

I nodded my head at his low, tired words, "I know"

He glanced over his should, using his computer mouse to re-enter the tab that held all the pictures of Juli--Lydia, that he had just been looking at.

"I love her," he told me quietly, still looking at the picture. It was of the picture of them that I had seen on the staircase wall, "I would've still been there with her. She didn't have to... she didn't have to..-" he was crying, and I nodded my head, crying as well. I took a step forward and extended my arms, and he took a step forward as well, meeting me half way and collapsing into my arms, just as Michael had when I made it known that I had woken up from my coma in the hospital.

"I love her" he cried into my shoulder, and I held him tighter, closing my eyes tightly.

"I love her too"

*

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*

*

"I'm sorry that you had to see it," I whispered softly to Luke, continuing to stare at nothing in particular, "Michael told me what happened after I blacked out"

Luke didn't say anything, but he continued to rub his hand up and down my arm, trying to find comfort in my presence.

I let him cry into me for the last few hours. And I cried with him, really cried with him. I couldn't do that with Michael because I knew that he didn't get it. Not completely, anyways.

After that we lay in his bed. He was on his back while I had my head on his chest. I was curled into his side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and mine tucked into my own chest. He hadn't spoken since we had been in this silence, and I knew that he was thinking about her.

"At least she didn't try to kill you," I huffed a bit, closing my eyes as I felt a wave of betrayal wash over me, trying to find relaxation as my head moved up and down to the rhythm of Luke's steady breathing, "She was my best friend. I didn't think that she would do it"

He continued to rub his hand that was around my shoulders up and down my arm, and he took a shaky breath.

"I know that I keep saying this," he began, his voice raw and unsteady, "But I was going to make her overcome this. I wanted her to get help, because I was in love with her. But she took her life. She took it and she tried to take yours too. And I know that I shouldn't be saying these things. She was crazy, I know that. I can accept that. I just wish... I wish I had meant more to her then a jealousy tool, you know?"