Hanging by a Moment [Completed]

Complicated

It was a stupid act on my part to have continued talking despite what had gone down earlier.   “Yeah. And you girls will take a ton of photos and hug each other and compliment each other on how pretty you look, even if you don’t think so.”

Peyton nodded enthusiastically, picking up momentum from… the backup he’d received, I think. “Uh huh, and the only conversations we’ll get to hear are about how her clothes are from armaldo-no, armadillo-wait, Armani and how her hair looks amazing, and that you’re jealous.”

“After which someone else will go all, but you look so amazing!”

“Then you’ll compliment her back.”

We were on a roll. “Then it’ll go to the story about the other girl you saw, and her boyfriend or something.”

“Yeah, either you’ll talk about how amazing he is, because he bought her a huge bunch of flowers, or how stingy he is, because he didn’t.”

“Or it’ll be a story on how cute they are together.”

“Then you’ll go to the washroom.”

“And put on more makeup.”

“And we’ll just be there.”        

“Shaking our heads. Drinking the spiked punch.”

“Shut up!” Sarah was laughing too; she knew we were right.

“I think we’ve made our case, Mr. Carter.” I turned to him in mock-solemnity and nodded.

It was then that my gaze locked with Sarah’s. She had a small smile playing on her lips, which is really when I realized my mistake, and I looked down to my desk quickly. The heat travelled quickly through my face. And I wonder how she figured it out?

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have someone to go with.”

Peyton snorted. “Phshh. If we had a girlfriend we’d be forced to listen to her talk about just that. This way at least we’re not obliged.”

“How do you even know any of it then?”

“We’re observant,” he informed her.

“You guys have no life.”

Peyton had a response ready for that. “You’re worse off then, if you think the dance is worthwhile.”

“Why are you coming, then?”

“It won’t suck as bad for you….in fact, you should be thanking us.”       

“Screw you,” she flipped us off pleasantly. “We have work to do anyway.”

*

It wasn’t unusual for us to swear at each other, playfully, but I’d come across as harsher than I’d intended so I was a little uncertain about where we stood when the lesson began.

But then we’d looked at each other again and she’d smiled, and I knew we were okay. I knew I’d been forgiven, and by the end of the lesson we were talking like nothing had happened…not that I’d forgotten why I’d taken that offensive defensive stance, obviously.

“That was fun,” she said to me afterward. Peyton had wanted to visit the washroom, and we were waiting outside for him before going to the next lesson.

“What was?” It was somewhat pointless, since both of us knew what she was referring to, plus the fact that she knew the other truth, which I’d confirmed by my actions.

“Math. Playing around, joking,” she began – and just when I was starting to get all suspicious as to why she wasn’t making any direct reference to Peyton and I, she finished her statement. “you guys make quite the pair, you know.”

It’s messed up that I’m crazy about my best friend of fifteen years. I didn’t say anything.

“You guys have been so close for so long. It was bound to happen sometime.” she’d heard the words I hadn’t said, then.

“It’s wrong, okay?”

“No, it isn’t.”

“He’s meant to be my best friend!”

“And he is. That doesn’t have to change.”

Peyton was taking too long, it felt, even though hardly two minutes could have passed since our exchange began. But my head had started to throb - the conversation wearing me down – she simply didn’t understand where I was coming from!

Peyton had been my best friend forever, with little exaggeration there. I was his buddy, his best friend – that guy, and if he were to find out that that I was crazy about him…it’d all go wrong. He wasn’t homophobic, but he didn’t think of me as a potential boyfriend either, so at best things would get really awkward between the two of us. Or he’d hate me.

Either way, I’d lose what we did have together.

No, I told myself, it isn’t an option.

My voice was hoarse when I finally managed to spit out some words.  “Don’t tell him.”

I felt warmth on my hand, and a gentle squeeze followed. “I won’t.”

Yes, I put song titles as 'chapter' titles. Fall for you being by Secondhand Serenade ('cause tonight will be the night that I will fall for you...) and Complicated by Avril Lavigne. Of course, the lyrics don't exactly fit in - not perfectly, but the titles do :P (plus a few lines)

And yeah, happy today to you :)