Hanging by a Moment [Completed]

Complicated

It was ridiculous to Jayden, somewhat, to think that he glowed when Peyton was happy –he wasn’t Edward Cullen – but he didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t deny that it gave him a thrill to see Peyton’s smile…

“Cat got your tongue?” she smirked at his silence.

He regained his footing soon enough. “No. I’m still processing the rubbish you spewed out.”

“Rubbish, sure. You’re going to deny that you check him out in gym too, then?”

I flushed.

Had I really been that obvious? I’d always thought that when I did look at him on the field it was subtle…

“Then there’s that you’re super sensitive of him. Like, when we we’re talking, and he enters the room, your attention turns straight to him.”

He grunted, not admitting to anything. He'd never really thought anybody would notice, especially since the two were so close anyway. Even then, he'd been careful to make sure that he didn't zone out - when he did, he 'caught' himself instantaeneously...how had she known?

“And there’s always this dreamy look in your eyes when he’s around and blabbering about whatever it is he’s on about. You smile, too, whenever he turns his attention to you. And-”

“Shut up,” He managed to choke out. That she’d noticed things he wasn’t even aware of was scary - sure, he did look at Peyton sometimes, and get distracted easily, but the dreamy look? The constant smiling?

“Hey,” her voice softened, “it’s okay.”

The sudden change in her tone made me snap out of the panic attack I was having. She'd been going on in a somewhat accusatory matter-of-fact manner, so when she changed to the consoling type, it made me pay more attention to her. She had a slight smile on her face, but it was more of the sad, rueful smile.

Brilliant.

Now even she thought I was pathetic. Everything about the situation was, really, what with the whole falling for your best friend like every other Tom, Dick and Harry, but that Sarah knew made it worse. More real, and worse, and while it was my fault, for having made it glaringly obvious, at least it hadn't been intentional!

None of it had been – I hadn’t chosen to fall for him, or asked to, even, and I sure as hell didn’t want to feel that way! I only let myself feel it because I was too weak to fight it ; it was exhausting to deny everything when I spent practically every waking hour with him... but that didn’t mean that I enjoyed any of it.

“Buzz off.” I stalked away from there before the first tear could fall.

*

“It’s Valentine’s tomorrow! The dance too!”

“You don’t say,” Peyton said dryly, taking his place next to me.  It was Math the next period. We’d been put together in groups because teacher knew that her best chance of getting work out of us was if she put us together, so we were.

And Sarah, too.

I’d pointedly avoided her throughout Physics, even when she’d offered to drop it, so it was awkward when we were forced to join desks and sit adjacent to each other half an hour later.

“But she does,” I told him.

 “It’s stupid.”

“It is not!” Sarah was quick to protest.

“Yes, it is! We’re not even going to do anything worthwhile. Just go to the dance, bob our heads along with the music then call it a night,” he countered, then turned to me for support.