Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Caught and Crazed

It had been three weeks, four days, eleven hours and twenty six seconds. Not that Coulson was counting. There had been no call for help, no update on where they were and what was happening. That had never happened before. So, Coulson reasoned, the Avengers were either stuck in really bad traffic with no wifi or they'd been caught and stuck in a cell. That was the only logical reason, anyway. He paced across his office, wondering what his next move should be.

The door slammed open. Coulson still paced. Fury moved inside the room. "Go find them." He dropped a folder onto Coulson's desk, then left, closing the door with a bang.

Coulson sighed, picked up the folder, sat down and read it. He skimmed through it until he got to the bit about where the Avengers were being held captive. He grabbed his keys, several extra guns and the folder, then practically ran down to the garage where SHIELD's cars were and sped off as fast as possible.

Slamming on the brakes in front of an abandoned shack, Agent Phil Coulson stepped out of the car, examining his surroundings. The shack had once cream coloured paint peeling away, grubby windows, a tin roof and a broken brick chimney. Long, burnt grass dotted here and there, cracked windows, no lights, dense bush fifty feet away, bloodstains on the doorstep, and what looked like scuffed footprints, signs of a sure struggle. Coulson hoped to God that the blood wasn't the Avengers' and they had just lost all way to communicate and were making their way back to New York right now. But just in case they were here, Coulson walked inside the shack, the door falling off it's rusted hinges, creating a loud bang! 

He froze at what he saw. Because sitting amidst the pile Lego bricks, was Tony Stark, gabbling nonsense.

"Hall 1, Door 5, Hall 2, Door 8, Hall 3, Door 12, Hall 4, Door 100," Tony gibbered, shuddering at the mention of Hall 4. "Hall 1, Door 5, Hall 2, Door 8..."

He repeated the same sentence over and over again, all the while building a colour coordinated Lego castle.

"Stark, what the hell are you doing?" Coulson demanded. He couldn't believe that Tony hadn't escaped, especially when the door had just fallen off it's hinges. They could have escaped ages ago. "Where are the others?"

Tony looked up, smiling widely, his eyes glazed over. "Happy. Lego. Who you?" then he looked confused. "What others?" He looked at Coulson excitedly. "There others?"

"Yes, others. Your team mates. Where are they?" Coulson demanded. "Do you even know? And Tony. . .do you realise that they've drugged you?"

Tony didn't answer, instead pointing towards a door half hidden in the shadows. Coulson hauled Tony to his feet and led him through the door. At the end of the corridor were four holes, each with rotting signposts sticking up, labeling them Hall 1, Hall 2, Hall 3 and Hall 4. They each had a rusty metal ladder attached to the side of the hole.

Tony pointed at Hall 1 and said, "Green."

Coulson assumed he meant Bruce. "Let's go there first then."

But Tony wasn't done. He pointed again at Hall 2. "Hammer." Hall 3. "Stars and spangles." Hall 4. "Scary bird."

"Okay Stark, let's go get Mr Green, shall we?" Coulson said, climbing down first.

Once they were both safely on firm ground, off the ladder that threatened to pull free with every step, they walked down to Door 5. Coulson opened it carefully, expecting the Hulk to be waiting to charge. Instead, Bruce Banner was shackled to the cold stone floor, his skin rippling green, like the other guy was trying to come out and save Bruce. Coulson knew that this couldn't be good for the Hulk or Bruce, so he pulled out a knife from his shoe sole and started sawing away. Half an hour later, Bruce's wrists were free and the Hulk could pull the shackles off his feet. Bruce swayed on his feet, eyes flickering green and brown.