Solace |Bucky x Reader One-shot|

Solace

You glanced at the large green numbers of the clock on your night stand '1:45' it read. Everyone should be asleep now which meant safe passage through the halls into the entertainment room. On sleepless nights like these you found refuge in its quiet darkness. The area was generally a hub of activity in the daytime which could easily overstimulate you, but at night it was peaceful.

You shrugged a grey sweatshirt on over your tank top and shorts before creeping out of your bedroom. It was only a short walk from the area where the bedrooms were and the entertainment room was so as long as you're quiet nobody would know you'd gotten up. Your bare feet made no sound on the cold hardwood floor as you moved through the hallway.

Once you took a step around the large black leather sectional and onto the fuzzy white rug in front of the TV you knew you weren't alone. The balled up figure of the towers newest addition, James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes. He was an old friend of Steve's and formerly the HYDRA assassin known as the Winter Solider.

He was huddled in a ball in the corner of the sectional for the most part his head was tucked to his knees but when you sat down a few feet away from him his head moved up to watch you. For a moment it seemed as if he were assessing the situation for danger but after a minute he appeared to not consider you a threat.

When you turned on the TV Bucky watched you as flipped through the channels looking for something that would keep you occupied. After landing on some stupid soap opera you turned to the man. "What are you doing in here? I'm normally the only one up at this time." You said.

He simply stared for a few minutes. It didn't seem like he was going to answer so you were about to turn back twords the TV. "I can't sleep." You nodded

"Neither can I buddy." You commented. "I can't imagine it's fun living with all that HYDRA shit. I've seen what they've done to people. It's sick and twisted." Your face was one of disgust. HYDRA had done such horrible things but then again so had someone you trusted.

Bucky nodded. "What about you?" He asked his voice hoarse. He picked at at run in the knee of his sweatpants.

You sighed and hesitated befire deciding to tell him. You knew what happened to him, so it was fair if he knew about you. "Someone one I trusted hurt me real bad so ya know, that kinda stuff." Bucky nodded again. "Do you wanna watch anything else? I can't imagine this drunk housewife is the ideal example of modern film."

Bucky didn't comment on the TV but instead asked. "Why would they do that to you?" He'd seen you around the past week, you seemed to get along with the other inhabitants of the tower just fine, even if sometimes you had to excuse yourself and go to your room. Why would anyone want to hurt someone who didn't deserve it?

You stopped for a moment and bit you lip before letting out a sigh. "It was all great at first but as time went on they got possessive. They barely allowed to me to see my friends. They forced themselves on me because they said they loved me and I believed them." Your eyes burned a little. "I believed them. It was so stupid, and now I'm a disgusting mess because of them dammit." Your hands balled into fists at the sides of you head yanking little clumps of hair.

Bucky scooted a little closer to you. Your knuckles where white from gripping so hard. Bucky held your wrists trying to pull your hands down. "I was weak enough to submit to H-HYD... their mindcontrol. They brainwashed me too. You're not alone"

The grip on your wrists did little to comfort and sent a shiver through your body as you held on to the moment at hand making sure not to let yourself slip away to that dark place. You took deep breaths like you were supposed to until the thoughts passed and you let your hands go limp. You felt bucky pull them down to your lap. "They say it gets better with time, some days it does some days it doesn't. Other days it's just easier to cope." You sighed turning away from the man beside you.

In the corner of your eye you see Bucky nod but he stayed quiet for a moment. "I still remember what I did as him. I don't think I'll ever forget, but I just try my best to ignore it. I want to right his wrongs and I know that won't change what he did but it might help someone." Hes says biting his lip as soon as hes done.

Your finger tips find a spot on the back of your scalp to scratch as your try to find something to reply with but you can't so you just move ever so slightly closer to him and you drop your fingers to lay your head on his shoulder.

Everything is still for a few minutes before an arm reaches around your back and lays gently across your shoulders. It turns out Bucky doesn't need a worded response. Just having someone there who understands the feeling is enough.