Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all.
Until something makes you feel again, and then it all comes back.
Every word, every hurt, every moment.
How could you ever understand where I come from?
Even if you ask, even if you listen.
You do not really hear, or see, or feel.
You don't remember my story.
You haven't walked my path.
You haven't seen what I've seen.
My past defines me, this is who I am.
I am unseen, unheard, unwanted.
That is what I am, if even I am anything.
It seemed like the same thing that held me up forced me down.
The world turned upside down and order disappeared.
Nothing was how it was supposed to be and the heavy sadness filled my soul.
Trapped in the misery of my life, lost in the sorrow of my soul.
The darkest days of my life kept coming, the blackest nights from my soul never stopped.
It seemed like it was always night time and nightmares and never morning.
And maybe you wonder why, but mostly you try not to think about it, and try to get by and try to survive.
All the other stuff seems nothing compared to just wanting the most important things back again.
Wishing you could see your mother smile again and hear her sing that one favourite song that always used to calm you down.
And if you can't get that back, at least get to take care of your baby brother again, because you know he needs you and he'll be so scared all alone.
And who will hold his hand and whisper it will be alright to him?
And who will whisper it to me?
I know I am helpless, dependent, desperate, but what happens when those you need the most threaten your very existence?
I've heard plenty of promises and they all sound the same, but push hard enough and sooner or later they all prove to be empty.
The sun comes up every morning, but do you know where?
It's hard to find east when you keep moving around.
But at least it comes, it always comes.
I've come to depend on that.
I wish someone would tell me it's going to be all right.
This is my past, my history, my story.
It's not my fault and it's not because of me.
I am loveable, I am worthy of care.
And that glimmer of light, it makes all the difference.
The glimmer of light gives me hope, that one day my morning will come.
