Fight The Sight of Daybreak

Chapter 37: Miss can we please sit with you?

"Okay but I'm only letting you cut things." I say, teasing her again

"I'm fine with that, I know I'm not a good cook. What do you need from the store? Tay and I already said we would go buy some booze, we can also buy the food." She says

"You're buying alcohol? You're both under twenty-one, how are going to do that?" I ask

"I have a fake ID." She says

"Oh no I'm not letting you use that, it's already bad enough that I'm allowing you guys to drink. I'll come with you to the grocery store, let's say around noon so we have enough time to prepare the food." I say

"Okay, we'll pick you up. I'll see you tomorrow, good night Alexa." She says

"Sleep tight Lyndsey." I respond and we end our phone call.

I keep working because my leg is killing me and I know I can't sleep like this. After a while the pain from my knuckles on top of that from leg is getting too much and I take more pain meds. My mind is getting a little drowsy and I can't focus that well anymore so I stop working. I take my note book and I write the date and hour on the top right corner, like I always do. I start thinking about everything that has happened lately and let my emotions flow through my pen onto the paper.

If I was stronger then, things would be different now
And I could change the words and all the fights we had
And I could live with the guilt that I buried out back
And forget all the times that I let you down
Spent at least three years counting the days wanting the feeling to just go away,
Take it away, because I can't stay
All that I do is try to exist and see the light through this eclipse
Oh how I try
The months they pass
The seasons change
Yet I'm still a slave
A slave to the same old putrid things
I thought I'd broken these chains, but they will always remain.
I need some closure, I need to move forward.
I need to prove to myself I'm not that fragile like I once was.
But every time I try, it's all so temporarily
Oh how I try
I'm fucking sick of feeling like I need to prove myself,
My patience is wearing thin
If I open my eyes, can you promise me that the darkness is gone
And the light will return to our world, return to my eyes

I look at my nightstand where there stands a clock and I see that's already five am. I write it down on the right bottom corner of the page and close my book. It takes a while before I fall asleep but when I finally do I'm dreaming about the night that I left home.

I wake up at nine and struggle to get out of bed because I'm still tired. I sit up and immediately take a pain killer, this is going to be a hard day of pretending everything is fine. My leg and knuckles hurt and my mind keeps repeating what happened yesterday. I put on the prosthetic and let out of big sigh before getting up to get dressed. I'm not in the mood to make breakfast so I decide to walk to the coffee shop.

After the twenty minute walk I get inside the coffee shop and sit down in a booth with a window. The waitress comes over and I order some eggs with bacon. While I eat I stare outside the window, looking at the people walking by and the park across the street.

"Mommy can we sit here?" I hear a little girl say pretty close to where I'm sitting

"No Ava let the lady eat in peace." Someone else says and suddenly I feel a little tap on my leg

"Miss can we please sit with you?" The little girl says when I look down at her. She has long curly brown hair and big blue pleading eyes. I see a woman who looks just like the little girl standing behind her and she mouths sorry.

"How can I say no to such a sweet request? Of course you can, come sit." I say patting the space next to me. She crawls on the seat with a little struggle but she gets on it eventually and her mother sits across from us.