My Only Exception

Chapter 7

Ano bang gusto nyang palabasin?

"Pano kayo naging magkapamilya?"

And that was the question that made me stop. Kung ugnayan at ugnayan lang ang pag-uusapan, ang daming dahilan at paraan para maging pamilya kami.

"Her brother is my brother-in-law. I don't know if she would officially be my legal sister-in-law soon," sagot ni Ethan.

He gave me a meaningful look. I've been trying real hard to forget about what happened five years ago and he'd been bringing it up regularly. I got hurt and he never bothered say sorry. Now, he's still hurting me even if the past hasn't been erased yet. I wanted to just work for Cali but he has a way of getting himself in the picture.

What he said brought up more questions from the other people inside the room. He never mentioned anything about us in the past. All he kept on saying referred to me and Seff.

Five years and he never understood. He never believed and he still continued to think that I cheated on him. And I hate it that I am still hurting when I should be numb at this point.

I decided to keep my cool and just let him say what he believes in. I remained silent for the rest of the day and around 5 PM, we all decided to call it a day. I stood up and prepared to leave. The others already went out of the room and I was the last to go before Ethan.

"Haven't you even thought of seeing your mother-in-law soon?" he asked me.

Relax, I tried to condition myself.

"I don't have a mother-in-law."

"You just haven't married my brother yet but if you both have plans to do so, it's almost good as official," he said.

"Seff and I are not getting married," I told him.

"Hindi? So what, you're just fucking buddies?" he laughed with sarcasm. "Para pag ayawan na, wala ng separation? So tell me, what's my nephew's last name?"

That was foul. All the bottled up emotions I had in the past resurfaced. It was as if all the things I should have said in the past were just paused and after a long time, they were all meant to be resumed, all meant to be said and just break each other's hearts again.

"Is that how you've known me? That I am just after sex and once I got what I want, I'll leave people behind? After five years Ethan, seriously, you haven't even thought of saying sorry for messing up my life? You haven't considered all the explanation I gave to you? Nanatili pa ding sarado yang makitid mong pagiisip?"

He took a deep breath.

"Sorry? Who played behind my back? Ako ba? Di ba ikaw saka yung kapatid ko? Hindi ka pa nakuntento sa akin, pati sarili kong kapatid sinali mo? Sino ka ba para maging ganun kaconcerned sayo si Seff kung wala lang yun?"

"Yan, yan ang mahirap sayo e! Lagi ka na lang naniniwala sa kung anong gusto mo paniwalaan kahit lahat na ng tao nagsasabi sayo na hindi yun totoo! We've been together for three years Ethan and in that span, you never learned how to trust me. Hindi mo nakikita yung mali na ginawa mo. Ego lang ang umiral sayo! You didn't seem to have realized how much pain you've caused me. Hindi ko boyfriend si Seff yet sya ang gumawa ng mga bagay na ikaw dapat. Tapos sisisihin mo kami? Tanga-tangahan?" I shouted.

"You know what's worse? We haven't seen each other for five years and yet, hindi sumagi sa isip mo na nasaktan mo ako and that you need to apologize. Hanggang ngayon, naniniwala ka pa din sa bagay na hindi ko ginawa. Pinagsasalitaan mo pa din ako ng mga bagay na ako dapat ang nagsasabi sayo!"

"Sorry lang ba gusto mo? Very well then, sorry. Bahala ka na kung para saan yun," he told me and left but before he got out completely, I said something.

"Sana hindi mo pagsisihan lahat ng ginawa mo kung kelan huli na."

          

He didn't say anything but left me all alone.

            

               

••

(His Thoughts)

It had been a bad day.

Now that she's in front of me, I can't seem to know how to act normally and properly. I always end up saying things that I should not say. When I went back to my office, I wasn't able to do anything and I was really distracted.

I admit that until now, I do not believe her. For me, I still believe that she cheated on me and that as long as she is with Seff, I will always think that she did.

Despite that, I know I still love Raffy. I never stopped no matter how long we've been separated. I missed her and a part of me wants to hug Raffy everytime that I see her but another part says she fooled me and that I should just move on.

Yeah, worse as it sounds, I haven't really moved on. They said children are blessings but when she had Cali, I thought of the kid as a mistake. I know he's a Yu as well but I couldn't help but think of it that way.

Instead of staying, I decided it was best to just go home and have a drink. I'll go to the house I bought a few years back. Before I went home, I decided to check on my secretary for my schedule tomorrow.

I was almost there when I heard someone crying inside the washroom. It's a common washroom for all genders. I decided to get in since it might be my employee and I wanted to make sure that she or he can get home safe. And alive.

I was surprised when I heard her voice.

"I do not know. I'm just so done," she said and continued to sob. She sounded as if she'd been crying heavily for a long time. Kanina pa ba sya nandito? Who is she talking to? I remained silent.

"Seff, wala syang karapatan na insultuhin ako ng ganun. I was his girlfriend and you are his brother. Why didn't he even realize that you cannot do it to him? But no, he was so consumed with jealousy and narrowmindedness. His eyes are open but his ears are not. Hindi nya dapat idadamay si Cali sa kahit anong bagay. Not Cali. Never Cali. You did what you have to do for Cali. You're even Cali's dad at this point," she said and paused for a while. "Hindi ko gagawin yan Seff lalo na ngayon na pinatunayan nya sakin na hindi ko na sya dapat mahalin, na hindi ko sya dapat minahal. I am regretting every minute that I spent with him. I am regretting that I shared my life with him and that I thought we'll be spending more as a family. Kahit kelan alam natin pareho na wala syang binintang sa atin na totoo."

Seff answered. Whatever he said, I do not know.

"Ayoko na Seff. If I loved him before, I would be forgetting about it. If I love him until now, I will stop at this moment. He doesn't deserve it."

And that hurt me.

I went out of the washroom as quiet as I can. Ayoko na syang istorbohin. I have so many things to think about. Mali nga ba ako sa ginawa ko five years ago? What if I was, dapat ko pa bang ibalik yun?

Apparently, the way she spoke to my brother, there IS nothing between them now and there WAS nothing between them before.

Did I just continue to hurt the one I love for five straight years?