The pain is real

Overwhelmed

"Ok cowboy I'll be waiting" I tell him blowing a kiss
...............................................................................................................................................
I'm in the living room with the boys watching tv, when I hear the door open and the keys hitting the bowl. I jump up off the couch and round the corner. I surprise Blake by jumping into his arms. I missed him so much. Not sleeping cuddled together and then him working the bigger part of the day makes it seem like forever since I've been in his arms. We stand there in the doorway his arms around my waist and my arms as tight I can wrapped around his neck, my head stuffed into the crook of his neck. I could stand here the rest of the night, I'm back in my safe place. Next thing I know we are brought back to reality by a little voice coming our way.

"Momma. Where you momma?"

"In here baby!" I tell him

"BWAKEY!!!!!!!!" He cries running to him as fast as he can

He literally jumps into Blake's arms hugging him as tight as his little body will let him.

"I told you I was gonna come home buddy. I ALWAYS keep my promises. Ok buddy? Always." Blake tells him, making tear pool in my eyes.

He is an amazing man. He came into the journey knowing I had kids and instead of being the "step-dad" he took it upon himself to be the father these kids deserve. To see the love my kids have for him and the love he has for the kids overflows my heart.

"Cowboy what are your thought on the boys spending the night with Jen and Todd?"

Still holding Apollo, he smiles big and wraps his free hand around my waist kissing the top of my head.

"I would be very happy about that!" He bends down and whispers in my ear "and I haven't had my way with you in a couple days. It's long over due!"

I just giggle and blush getting my phone out to text Jenn.
..............................................................................................................................................
Jenn just picked up the boys and I'm watching my cowboy cook us dinner. He sings while he is cooking and I absolutely love it. I'm literally the luckiest girl to have this man apart of my life. I was such a jerk last night and the look he gave me getting into bed. It kills me to know I put that hurt look on his face. I'm determined to make it up to him tonight. He is dishing the food onto the plates and carries them into the dinning room.

"Blake baby I'm sorry about last night."

"Gwen I told you to forget about it you have nothing to apologize for."

"Babe yes I do. I was wrong to snap at you like I did. I'm even more sorry for letting us go to bed without saying sorry."

"I slept horrible last night." He says looking at his plate

I cup his cheek with my hand making him look at me "Cowboy I haven't slept that bad since you moved in. I was kicking myself all night for being so stubborn. All I wanted to curl up with you. Let's make a promise to each other Blake. Let's promise to never go to bed mad or upset with each other."

"Deal sunshine. How bout we eat this up and make our way upstairs?"

"Sounds like the perfect idea!"
...............................................................................................................................................
Blake and I are in bed thing are getting hot and heavy and just as he is about to take me my phone rings. I huff but being a mom I know I have to look to see who it is. My mom senses kicking in, I knew before I saw that it was Jen and something was up.

"Hello"

"Hey Gwen something is wrong with Apollo. He is burning up and won't stop crying."

"How long has he been like this?" I ask her getting up and pulling clothes on, Blake does the same as I know he can hear the conversation.

"Like maybe a hour. He was a little warm right after we got here but it's only gotten worse. I knew he had that cough so I figured it was just viral but I'm not so sure now Gwen."

"We will be there in 15 mins we are leaving now." I hang up.

Blake grabs the keys as we sprint out the door. Sitting in the car we are holding hands, more like clinging to each other. We had gone to the doctor three days ago but they reassured us it was a virus but now mom instincts are telling me it worse. Blake looks over and sees the tears I can't hold back. He squeezes my hand...

"Gwen he is gonna be ok."

"I shouldn't have sent him to Jens. I should have know he was sicker than the doctors said. I'm his mom for gods sake."

"Gwen you didn't see this coming, you couldn't have. We are going to him now and take care of him babe ok? He is gonna be ok."

I wrap my arms around Blake's arm and hold on until we pull into Jens driveway. We both practically jump out of the car and head to the front door. Jen is already there with the door open.

"Where is he?" I ask her needing to see my baby right now.

"Todd has him in the living room."

I go to my baby who bursts into sobs as soon as he sees me. Blake gets his bag, his pacifier and favorite blanket. We tell the other boys bye and that we will get them tomorrow, as we are leaving King grabs Blake's hand...

"Blake"

"Yeah buddy what's up?" We look at what has become our son and sees the fear and tears falling from his face.."aww buddy it's ok. We are taking him to the doctor. He is gonna be ok. I'm gonna make sure of that ok?" Blake reassures him

"Can you tell aunt Jen what's happening so she can tell us?"

"Of course buddy." Blake tells him wrapping him up in a hug
..............................................................................................................................................