The Moment

Prologue

I don't know if anyone ever overthinks things as much as me to get to point of reconsidering every single one of the choices made in a specific situation or event, drive everyone crazy and THEN decide that everything is okay and that it will be alright. Well, that's who I was. An insecure and unsure 25 year old so tangled up in life that I was going ballistic  2 months before my wedding. I was so terrified of ruining everything a few days before the ceremony because of my disability of making one choice and sticking with it until the end that I almost ended up doing it even sooner. Of course, that is NOT what ruined the beautiful wedding that was supposed to take place in 2 months with the at the time handsome and overly charming Tommy Gerard but a meeting which would in my view at that moment turn my life's course to a completely different direction.

Let me just start by saying that if the events that will be described did not take place, I would be living an entirely different life NEVER knowing what truly had taken place and who I actually was.

Firstly, let's just explain that I was not a damsel in destress waiting for a prince to rescue her. Even though  that is exactly what happened in this one situation. But in my everyday life, despite my disability to make a stable decision, I went on without asking for help or begging for assisstance. Although, I do have to make it clear that Tommy was changing my almost too proud personality and bad habbit of never asking for a hand. He was different. He lend me his hand every time he thought I needed it without asking me why I was struggling. Of course that was then and now I have a completely different view of him. Anyways, it was about 2 months before the wedding and I was feeling super anxious about everything. Giving a second thought to every little insignificant detail that didn't even need my attention until I reached my breaking point and called off the wedding. See, me and Tommy , we had met around 8 months prior to this whole mess and he proposed to me 6 months after our meeting. I know I know. It was too soon for a proposal and I should have known it was weird. But, I was only 25, had my head in the coulds and was swept off my feet with every little sweet gesture he made towards me. Anyways, my parents were supprisingly excited about this and were fully supportive of the young man. Little did I know they already knew him. Moving on, I was going out of my mind and thought that since the wedding was nothing like anything I wanted,  this wedding wasn't meant to be and called it off. Tommy came over to my place as soon as he heard of my decision when he got back from his trip and begged and pleaded to change my mind and was even ready to change everything even if he had already paid for all the preparations. I finally responded to him by saying that all I wanted was a very small and settle wedding that would involve only 20 to 30 people and he agreed right when the words came out of my mouth and told me he would convince his parents no matter what. He seemed very eager which was a little odd to me even then. Naive me , happy that things were finally going the right way, which was my way, ignored all the little things would have indicated that something was off and called the wedding back on.

After the great chaos that lasted 2 long weeks before the wedding was called back on, we took the chance of having a drink with both families celebrating both my decision and the 1 year anniversary of my waking up from the coma. I didn't mention it before but, I did spend a month in a coma after an awful car accident where I was told that 2 other people lost their lives. Even after waking up, it took me some time to get used to things since I had a short term trauma related loss of memory which took about 3 moths to get back. And during that drink with the Gerard's family, something came back to me like the time when I was getting back my memories. Something very vague but very strong.