LOST LINE [G.GUSTIN II]

03

"I wish it was that easy." I sigh as i run my fingers through his brunnete and soft hair. (Guys im picturing Seth as Shawn and this isn't right omfg.)

He pecks my lips. "I don't like seeing you so stressed out, babygirl." He says as his hands rub my sides, i sigh once again.

"I hate feeling so stressed out." I admit, it was so easy to let everything out with Seth, he makes me feel so free and comfortable. He nods slowly and then his hands cup my cheeks and we both stare at each other in the eyes.

"You will go to Vancouver and you will show that Gustin asshole that you are doing much better without him then you will come back here and lay by my side, and i will love you every single day of my life." He says sternly yet softly. "Okay?." He asks and i nod, he brings my lips to his and we kiss. A soft and gentle kiss, my lips tremble against his. We depart only because oxygen was something we need, but i was sure i could live forever with his lips pressed against mine.

Still there was a part of me that doubted. A part of me that thought that as soon as i see Grant i would fall apart and all of the emotions i had been keeping bottled up would just come out. A part of me that still loved Grant.

And then i fell asleep on Seth's arms, feeling guilty at the thought of me not loving the man that had been there for me in my darkest days. His soft snores were the only thing you could hear among the silent room.

And my guilt kept on growing.

;

g r a n t g u s t i n;

"Oh you shaved." Tyler says as he sees me walk across the living room. I roll my eyes.

"Really?." I act surprised. "It's not like i shaved myself or anything." I say sarcastically.

"But you are still a pain in the ass." Tyler groans. "When are you going back to Vancouver?." Tyler asks as he lays his back on the couch.

"Tomorrow." I reply nonchalantly, ever since i came back to Virginia I hadn't talk to my family much.

Tyler huffs. "Mom is pissed."

I raise an eyebrow, confused.

"You haven't even spend time with us since you came back." He explains and i shrug.

"I don't know, i just haven't been feeling good lately." I say, taking a sip of my coffee.

"It's been a year, dude. Like the song says, 'let it go'!." He shouts and i sit on the table, feeling annoyed.

"It's not Kara." I repeat for what it seemed the millionth time, the simple mention of her name seemed so foregin to me. "I just haven't been feeling good that's all." 

I see Tyler roll his eyes. "Because of her!. You shouldn't even be mad, bro, you were the one who broke up with her." He sighs. "And i liked her more than Hannah." 

I stand up, not wanting to hear more of his bullshit. "Listen Tyler, you don't have a say on how i feel or why i'm being so distant, okay?. So stay out of it." I snap and start walking upstairs to my old room.

"Fucking man periods." Tyler mutters under his breath and i roll my eyes before walking inside the room with blue painted walls. I had spent all summer staring at them and with the pictures that i appeared on and oh how could i forget about the broadway posters?. My dreams seemed so far away back then, and i was now living the life i always dreamt of.

But was i really?. I knew i was unhappy and alone, all because of my selfishness, all because i hurt someone who cared for me. All for what? For a job, for fame. Stupid.

"Grant! Tyler and I are going grocery shopping!." My mom yells from downstairs, and there was my chance to make it all better. My head snaps back at the beige door.

"Hold on mom! I'm coming with!." I yell back, not caring about me wearing my grey sweatpants and maroon tank top.

If i couldn't take back what i had done, then the only thing i could do was redeem myself and start over. I had to forget about the aftertaste she had left.

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SUCH A SHITTY CHAPTER OMFG SORRY.