My name is Jimothy. I am often overlooked, and not many know I exist, but you may know my brother, who was one of the greatest wizards of all time. Albus truly was a great man; he ran a school for young wizards and always had a smile upon his face. Me, well...I don't mean to brag but I also have some amazing qualities myself. I run a 5-star dairy queen and I specialize in blizzards. I also am part of a secret elite group called The Blizzarding World of Barry Otter, and I live in a giant ice cream cone with my best friend Don Weasley. My uncle, Serious Daddy, called me into his invisible cave the other day.
"My niece", said Serious.
"You called me, Serious Daddy?"
"I need your Blizzard making skills to track down your brother, Kayley. That way he can kill Ben and Jerry, our biggest competitors. I would recruit your cousin Barry Otter, however he recently died".
"OMG Serious. KAYLEY IS MY SISTER NOT BROTHER. I'M THE BROTHER. OMG I HATE LIVING WITH YOU."
At this moment I ran out of the cave vigorously screaming. "FINE FINE FINE I WILL GO FIND MY BROTHER--I MEAN SISTER!!" With that, I disappeared into the horizon.
I soon arrived at a random rock in the sahara desert.
"What?????" said a crackling voice from under the rock.
"It's your brother, Jimothy" I replied. "I have something to tell you."
"I'm pregnant?? WITH MOSAN'S BABY?????"
"No...you're a Blizzard, Kayley."
"I'm.. I'm a what?"
"YOU'RE A BLIZZARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Wait... like the ice cream?"
"Yes, but not a gross Ben and Jerry's blizzard. YOU'RE A MAJESTIC MEMBER OF THE DAIRY QUEEN HOUSE!!!!!!!!"
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"Well that sounds stupid."
"IT'S NOT BECAuSe YoU GEt TO KiLL BEn AND JERRy!!!! THEY'RE OUR BIGGEST COMPETITORS!!"
"OMG THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING TO DO--uhh...I mean...what's in it for me?"
I smiled at my sister, glad to have someone listen to me for once. "Here's your mission: kill Jerry. Jerry is a mouse; he lives in a hole with his cousin Ben and makes that HORRIBLE ice cream of theirs. Then, if you want, you can kill Tom, but it's not required. Tom is their lawyer so he could sue dairy queen if he found out we killed Ben and Jerry. As for compensation..."
Kayley's face lit up. "Yes?"
"...You will get to attend the best school in all of the Blizzarding World...the School of Sprinkles.
Kayley was of course, overjoyed to hear of this. Two of her ex-lovers went to that school!
So Kayley set out to kill Ben and Jerry, thinking about her ex lovers Mosan and Rangoni the entire time. During her trip, she came across a crusty old bar of soap. The soap started rambling about Darren Krispy.
