Hush, Hush

7

"Sorry for the wait!" We all immediately turned our heads to see our waitress standing at the foot of the table. She smiled at me. "I'm Sharon and I'll be taking care of you guys today. Does everyone know what they are getting?"

Tony sat back and patted his stomach. "I'll get the clam chowder. Garden salad for the side." He handed his menu to Sharon and she scribbled down his order before nodding at Bucky.

"I'll have..." He scanned over his menu again before he looked up at me, "I'll have what he's having."

I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. He always would ask for whatever I was having when we would go to a new place to eat besides the café. It reminded me of the time we went to Clint's sister's wedding and how he ended up eating most of everything I got for myself. I would grab a treat off one of the appetizer trays people would offer and Bucky would end up popping it into his mouth. His stomach was a bottomless pit.

I blinked and closed my menu. "I'll have the club sandwich."

"Alright, your food should be out soon!" Sharon smiled and clicked the top of her pen, hugging the menus to her side before she left.

My attention was drawn to Bucky when he nudged Tony's elbow and cooed, "She was pretty hot..." Tony pulled a face and shook his head.

"You know she's not my type man. I don't do the whole blonde hair, blue-eye thing." Tony gestured at his head and I let out a huff of laughter, grabbing his drink to take a sip. Tony then smoothly remarked, "Plus, she had lips smaller than your dick."

I choked on my water and Bucky narrowed his eyes at Tony, glancing over at me as I struggled to get the liquid down my throat without spiraling into a coughing fit. He asked me, "Can I send him home or something? I don't want to miss a chance eating with you."

"At this rate I'm never going to make it back to work on time so maybe if you two stopped bickering, I would love to eat a nice meal." I said, checking my watch to prove the point.

Bucky apologized and it grew quiet before we all started grinning at each other. Bucky then sighed, "I'm glad nothing changed." He brushed the stray piece of hair back into place and took Tony's untouched water, taking a long drink, before setting it down next to his silverware.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked, looking over at his ex-roommate.

Bucky met my eye and elaborated, "I mean I'm glad you guys don't hate me for the shit I put you through. Especially you, Steve." The glimmer in his eyes dulled and I could see the guilt shadow his features. He did put me through a lot, but I don't hate him. If anything I still love him.

"Bucky, what you did to me is in the past. I can see how much you've changed and..." I had to look at one of the tables in the restaurant and swallow the knot in my throat. "And whoever you end up with is going to be very lucky. He or She...uh has a good man taking care of them."

I squinted my eyes when I felt myself tearing up at the thought of Bucky spending his life with someone else, someone better, and I hated that I still felt like this towards him. I've been trying to keep my cool and act normally the ten minutes he's been sitting next to Tony, but his gaze was hot against my skin and every word he spoke towards me made my chest ache with want. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, how much I wanted to kiss him in the parking lot back at the rehab, how much I thought of his arms around me the first few nights of being alone, I wanted to say that I was sorry for ever letting him go because he was the best thing to ever happen to me.

My vision began to blur with unwanted tears and I turned my head, reaching back to slip my phone out of my briefcase as I felt the first teardrop slide down my face. I released a shaky breath and knew that Tony and Bucky were staring at me, their gazes burning into the side of my head.