Sinking

1

It's hard to explain the feeling in your life when you've hit rock bottom. When everything is

spiraling out of control regardless of your efforts to keep on track. It's a feeling of no motivation, or

concentration. What's the point of talking, ..or waking up, .. Or living?

What's the point when you're happy only sometimes, and everything gets to you? I will tell you to

people somewhat like me there's no point. If you're not at school you're alone.

But there's a difference between those people and me. I have only one thing going for me, love. The

Feeling of waking up every morning knowing there's someone who thinks of you. Someone who just wants to see you, and hear your voice. Someone where by just looking in their eyes you can feel the lust. That is my motivation and my undivided concentration. Although I'm falling deep, I have but one person that I will unconditionally love, always.

..

I am abruptly woken up to my phone, buzzing uncontrollably. I tried to hide the smug grin on my

face when I read his name on the screen.

"Yes?" I answer, tossing my head back on my pillow.

"Good morning. How are you baby?" He asks. Accent and all sounds like silk through the phone.

"Good, tired. You?"

"Great actually, I'm heading to the store. Mind if I stop by?" My heart flutters at his offer but I

refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing just what he does to me. The things he does to me.

" okay, yeah, that's fine,"

" alright I'll be over In a few," I hang up and once again reposition myself in my bed.

Knowing Harry, he most likely went to the local corner store, Rosie's. That gives me approximately

15 minutes to get ready. I climb out of bed and hop in the shower, allowing the steamy water run

down my body, calming my nerves of last night. I shake the memories from my mind; I'm not

worrying about that now, I have Harry. When I finish I dry my hair, curling the ends. I quickly

powder some foundation on my face and line the top of my eyes with black ink.

Getting ready I manage to only think about last night once. God, I'm such a screw up. How could I

let things get so out of hand? I knew I messed my life up, but this bad? I don't understand.. I try so

hard! I study, do homework, clean my room, treat people right, yet I still fail miserably at every

part of my life. Sometimes I wish I could just-

My thoughts are silenced as a tall curly head boy walks In.

"Hey cutie" he squints, wrapping his warm body around me from the back.

I don't answer, I just stand there, taking in the feeling of good.

Good is such a vague way of describing this burning in the pit of my stomach. It's like the smiles of

every romantic comedy you've ever seen, the emotion of a break up, the thrill of sneaking out, the

glamour of fame, and the feeling of.. Love. Although we've never said it, I love him. He loves me.

"I don't deserve you," I say before my mind processes what is happening.

" sure you do. Just allow yourself to except it," he calms me. He is well aware of my.. Well..

Sinking. He knows my grades are dropping, my attitude towards everything, and lack of sleep. And

he still cares. Not obsessive, just enough to subtly let me know.

"What do you want to do today?" I ask him, trying desperately to change the subject.

"Let's go get something to eat." He offers, grabbing my coat and purse. I nod and follow him out.

Making sure to hold his hand the whole way through the door. We approached the car, quickly

getting in before the cold weather effected us.

"you cold?" He asked, turning the heat up before waiting for my answer. His car never seizes to

impress me. His red 1968 mustang roars as he presses his foot to the gas.

Harry is so beautiful. His cheeks and nose are a soft crimson color from the harsh weather and his

facial expressions are priceless. Sometimes I want to scream.

"Let's do something tonight, you know, for your birthday?" I almost forgot about my twenty first

birthday. I'd assume harry, like every other college student on their twenty first birthday, would

want to go out clubbing or to a bar or something. I on the other hand, want to stay in, maybe watch

a movie or something. I've had enough excitement for a year, all in last night.

"Hello!" Harry waves his hands in Front of my face, snapping me out of my previous thoughts

before I even realize I zoned out. I hope he understands I don't want to do anything big tonight,

although I don't want to make him upset at all, I'll just agree.

"Yeah, let's do what you want."

"But it's YOUR birthday"

"I know.. I just don't care.." It's much easier to do what others want than what you want.

"We can decide later," I can already tell he won't let this go, as much as I want him to.

We pull into a small diner named "Old Towne". By the time we show up it has already begun

flurrying and we hurry inside.

{ authors note: this is only the first chapter, sorry it's short, I just don't have the full idea going on.

Also, I know it sounds slightly sad, this has absolutely nothing to do with my personal feelings

haha (people who know me, don't worry) I haven't come up with a name for the main character so

please help me with that!! Let's hope this turns out good. Vote pleeeeaaaassseeeeee }