Heartbreak From Hell

A lesson on love.

Opposites are bound to attract but broken souls are designed to connect.

I grew up with awesome parents. Up until the age of 10 I had a home, and then the house earthquaked. The concrete foundation under my feet was crumbled when the titanic plates of my parents hearts divided. My home got flipped turned upside down and became a house without color. My mother did get 'remarried' as did my father.  Family is a hard thing to define for anyone but especially me. Tom, my stepdad and my mother are separating.  I guess I am taking that rough because I never wanted to be the poster child of a broken home, but here I stand. 

I clearly remember getting off the school bus and running inside almost peeing my pants from holding it all day.  I heard my parents say they were over and they no longer loved each other. The same words I would hear be told to myself, 9 years later.

I was broken in so many ways, with thousands of empty holes inside of me. I was searching for someone to complete me, and fill the voids. Looking back I think I was so desperate to not be broken I saw "love" and jumped head first. Only to fall flat on my face and never be able to return to who I was before making the jump.

I met a girl who would wreck everything I ever stood for in just under a year. A woman who, would give love a bad name to all men who read this story. 

On an October night I had a fight with my mother where I foolishly  walked out of the house. She then called the police and put out a missing persons report on top of an amber alert. Friends had posted things to locate me, all of which deemed to be unsuccessful. However I went home and worked things out the best I could.

The following day I went to school, where all of the school had heard of the "prank" to go missing. It was never a prank but an embarrassment. However in Mr. Costello's class 3rd period I got a   Dm on my Instagram. This little 180 character DM, would later turn out to ruin the man I was.

It was from a brown eyed brown haired saint that I worked with on a local farm. I had always had a small puppy crush on her and couldn't believe she was actually in MY dm's. Anyway, she told me that she had been through hard stuff too and if I needed anything I could text her. Well, I didn't need anything but I texted her within 10 seconds. Of course though, I waited 10 Mississippi seconds because I didn't want to come off weird.

From that day on we became inseparable, talking from sun up to sun down. Phone calls , snap chats, texts everything.  A few months later and I slowly began to realize I was falling in love with her.  I took an insanely huge risk and just came out with telling her that I did, to my surprise  she said it back.

She came from a broken home as well, and had a missing parent as did I. She had internal bleeding that I swore I could make clot. Her dad and her were the best of friends because it was just him raising her most of her life. I valued how her dad worked to take care of them, and raised such an amazing young woman. I saw so much love inside of both of them, almost the type of people to finish each other's sentences.

She was the female version of myself and I couldn't imagine being with anybody else. We understood each other without having to use words, we knew by looks. She knew me better than I knew me, as did I.

December 5th, 2015 5:30pm, we had plans for a month to go to the dickens festival up the street from my home. It was no exaggeration 45 degrees out. I walked to her house, got her and then walked to the festival. Upon walking she lost her phone behind a local library buried under a foot of dirt. She grabbed my hand and started to run in a panic in every direction . She was in such a panic she lost me and I had to find her in a crowd of 3000 people. I knew her that well though, I could find her in the biggest of crowds. After calming down we got hungry so we got food, well she got food. She had a funnel cake that she ended up wearing all over her black beanie and socks. I ordered a cheesesteak but got a ungodly horrendous looking sausage link. We then watched a cartoon movie in the street while drinking coffee. After, I took her to blue steps on a house 5 blocks from mine that I always found gorgeous. As she sat on the step below me wrapped up in my arms I asked her to be my girl. Not surprisingly this time, she said yes following a big smile and kiss.