I was 15 at the time and honestly had never been "In love" I had always had starry eyed crushes for the extremely attractive football star or the occasional math partner who made me blush. I honestly had no serious physical attraction to anyone. Either they were too short or I realized that their pretty face was ruined by there asshole tendencies. And the fact that I was only 15 may have been a small factor.
By the summer of 2014 I had one other boy who was interested in me, and yes he of course was my EX BOYFRIEND who was still obsessed with me. In the winter of my freshman year I met a boy named Taylor who my friends and I quickly nicknamed "Khaki Shorts" due to his fuck boy like style that was hot in those days. Of course being my awkward tall self I was "heart eyes" for this boy because he was one of the few that was taller than me. So I took the usual 21st century teen approach and sent the message that kills it all "Hey :) " and the rest is history.
Fast forward to the friday before spring break and I had come to the realization that Taylor was just like all the other fuck boys and yes, was extremely and horribly boring. I broke the news to him that I wasn't going to keep sending him "heart eyes" and such things and broke the poor blokes heart. I was much more realistic than that but.... You get the point. After our 4 month love spree, Taylor, proceeded to date a questionable selection of interesting human beings. My loss?
After breaking up with Taylor I enjoyed the single life. I spent more time with my friends and enjoyed the end of my freshman year.
There were only other boys that showed interest in-between Taylor and my other boy. Cormick was a farm boy that lived all the way in the great state of Minnesota. I met him while on a Leadership trip with Oregon 4H. I noticed him because he was staring at me while we were at the Vietnam memorial. I was strange to see a boy who saw me through all the haze of beautiful blonde girls, and it was nice. Eventually after staring at each other for what seemed like forever we finally started talking. I thought he was cute so I eventually drug my shy self to talk to him and we hit it off. We exchanged number and texted like crazy. In the lunch hall I remember looking up and seeing him looking right back at me. Funny how you meet great friends in random places. At the same time Cormick was talking to me, another boy was becoming my friend as well, Billy was his name, and Billy was a funny guy. Wearing the most interesting clothes and telling me all about the most unique bands that I have grown to still love to this day. It was 4th of July week when we we're there. So the camp took us to the Jefferson Memorial where we watched the fireworks by the edge of the river. Before the fireworks started Billy came bounding up to my fellow Oregon girls and plopped next to me and began chatting with me. about 15 minutes later Cormick came sulking over and sank next to us. Billy looked angry that another boy was talking with me and sat next to someone else. And then I realized that Billy had a crush on me, and I had no idea. After the spectacular show was over we all parted ways. The next day was our last in that muggy city. We spent the day playing games and catching fireflies! It was amazing. Billy and I had sort of connected on a deep level and I wanted to give him a book that I really loved, and to this day I don't remember what that book was. He followed me up to my room and waited for me, I handed him the book and he looked at me with the most interesting expression. I thought he was going to kiss me. He seemed to shake it off and handed me a key chain. It was of his state West Virginia. I still have the key chain, I don't think ill ever get rid of it. Later that night I invited Cormick to come hang out in our dorm room (Very against the rules). We laughed for a while then I walked him outside. He kissed me. An I kissed him. And we never saw each other in person again. We talked for a long time after that but after that kiss we became amazing friends. And he helped me through a lot of things.
