azura

chapter 1

today, i saw blue. i woke up in the morning

and looked in the mirror, and and there it was in my eyes, i saw blue.

i could see the reflection of the pain stuck in my eyes, and the blue of my heart.

i got up and went outside, and there is was again. i saw blue.

it was like a blanket covering the sky, I walked down the street and i saw people wore blue, like many so was I but my blue was worn in the inside keeping me a secret from everyone else.

hiding behind a smile that told a story of the blue in my heart. maybe it was my blood or my blood contaminated by the blue,

but at some point there was no other color my eyes could see.

I saw the BLUE, and it got stuck to my soul like glue, every scar, every wound, they all bled, and they all bled blue. Sad but true, the blue follows me everywhere that i go.

It was stuck in my eyes, with all innocence and pain. It is stuck with me. as i am stuck with it, but it is strange.

................................................................................................................................................................

eugene 

i didn't know how to draw stars, i was sitting in kindergarten, on my first ever day in school, drawing on a sheet of paper with all other five olds. i couldn't figure out how to make stars..

i held a orange marker in my hand, which was my favourite color at that time because of the falling, autumn leaves.

i made many attempts and failed.

This is how i met joey. he noticed all the attempted stars on my page and promptly began teaching me how to illustrate a star. within a few minutes, three things happened..

firstly, i replaced the orange marker to blue one and decided that my new favourite colour would be the eyes of the boy next to me. secondly, i had successfully drawn my first star. and lastly, although i hadn't realised it at the time, i met the boy who became my bestest friend ever.

.................................

joey

I didn't have parents growing up. they were gone before i really knew them, so I never actually felt the loss enough to feel sad. my older sister, hollie, did feel it through. she tried her best to keep her grief locked away, but sometimes even after all these years, she still wakes up screaming and crying.

my sister and i have different schedules, she works the graveyard shift at some fancy hotel, so by the time i leave for school, she's already knocked out, and by the time I'm ready to fall asleep she's barely waking up to get ready for work.

its strange, she's been the only constant in my life, yet i hardly know her. its like i coexist with a zombie who is both exhausted by work and life in general.

 needless to say but I grew up very independent, very independent, but also very lonely.I spent a lot of time by myself,I slept by myself every night. There was never anyone to run to if I ever had a nightmare.

Nightmares happened really frequently, that eventually I just stopped to fall back to sleep after one to say,

and as a child i had nightmares very frequently. i would always wake up sweating and shaking.

Eventually, it became a habit of mine to always be awake before 5 am.

those early morning hours, those hours were when the real, important things happened to me.

it was when i first started to paint. everyday I'd wait by my window and wait for sunrise, i always loved to watch the sun peek over the mountains. the colour of the sky was different everyday, sometimes it was pink, or orange, or even bright yellow.

i wanted to memorise every sunrise i saw.

i searched for a method to capture the sunrises for the longest time before i began to paint. i had been exploring my house to corner to corner every morning for weeks. I wasn't sure what i was looking for, a camera, possibly.

searched almost my entire house and had still found nothing. there was only one place for me to look.