Why do I still feel this way?
I have drugs in my system that doctors assure me will work
Once in awhile they do...
But nights like these make me second guess.
Is it worth staying?
Or should I just get up and leave everything behind?
All I think about is
"How can I do it to where it makes it easier for my family?"
I can image my family
Looking straight at me as I lay cold and lifeless in a beautiful coffin;
Baby still in moms belly
My siblings clueless about the hard situation
Dad just looking down staring at me, feeling numb and having no words.
Everybody is gathered to see my lifeless body being laid to rest
6 feet deep into the Earth.
Nobody understanding why.
Nobody knowing how much I suffered.
How much pain I've been in for years.
How many tears that have been shed.
Everyone slowly walks out of the saddening ceremony,
Crying,
Numb,
Clueless.
Months pass,
People are back to their normal lives.
Nobody brings up the past,
It must be forgotten.
It is forgotten.
I lay in the cold ground, motionless and looking more peaceful than I ever have been before while I was still breathing and having true emotion.
