Tyler
there was a rush of adrenaline and a sheen of sweat glistening off of our foreheads and arms and the valleys between where our wrists connected to our hands. Wind whipping our dirty hair across our faces and the loud music of a cd that Josh said he made last night. It smelled of lake water and mud in the confinements of a jeep, the best kind of smell if you asked me. Our visible breaths sang along to screaming lyrics and we were actually not caring that we were in thin clothes and cold weather, though we had crawled up into each other to stay and sit silent in the dark corner trying to make it a little less dark. We didn't mind because our hands were gripping the dashboard while we smiled. Actually smiled. Messy dirty finger streaks on our faces and unplanned drives through dirt roads in the forest but still very unique. It was incredible.
Joshua William dun didn't even begin to know that what he would consume me with(his whole being and the color I saw him as, which was a dull grey, would forever wash me over and over agin until I got used to it) would be a complete disaster. An uncontrollable fucked up situation with scars and drugs and a lot of kisses and little touches.
He didn't know and neither did I.
But I guess, that's why we fit together so well. Driving though someone's private property, yelling to no one but giant trees and the sky above us because we didn't know what else to do with our time. Legs tense and eyes wide, Josh and I didn't know that this would, in fact, be the beginning of an ethereal document of our entire lives.
It would be lucidly remembered when lake water dried to our skin making an extra layer of skin around us. With the title of a clear plastic cd case with 'Tyler fucking Joseph' scrabbled onto it with a dying sharpie on the ground under our bare feet. Butterscotch eyes focusing on everything but the road we were supposed to stay on, his laugh that shook the forest and encompassed everything he was, into almost every inch of this small jeep he claimed his.
He was invincible and inevitable in those moments. Completely and totally inconsiderate of death and love and want, the three things he would later come so close into contact with later on. He grew in the core of my heels and plummeted to my toes only to be searing up to my lungs to sprout out and around everything. He was Josh.
And all I wanted was him.
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an: short
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plastic flowers
Fanfiction"You have no idea how unproductive it is to fall in and out of you as often as I do" Dear Josh, I'm sorry I let you into something I probably shouldn't have. Even if I wanted you to.
