12/23/10
You never think you're gonna fall for someone until it has already happened. I honestly didn't think I was going to fall for her, but i'm usually never right and I thought wrong, once again, and this is the second time it's happened.
She's a little out there and that's what I mostly fell for. She's perfectly imperfect. She has beautiful brown eyes, they're very dark, but that simply shows me she has a lot of pain stored within, but they also glow when she talks about or does something she's passionate about. You kind of get lost in them. She's gorgeous, she doesn't really see it though. Her personality is all over the place, but that's what makes her, her. I've never met someone so strange and so normal. She's insane and that's okay. She's so contradicting honestly.
You can never really explain what it's like to feel this way about someone. All I can really say is that when you feel this way and you have a good moment with them, everything seems right in the world. It's like nothing ever matters, except that moment and nothing can ruin it. Then, there's bad moments, these make you feel like you can't do anything right by them, you hurt for days on end and you feel like you can't fix it, you just make it worse. Maybe that's just me. I don't know. You can also detect the smallest attitude or change in their mood and you make it seem worse than it is.
"What the hell are you writing?"
"Nothing, Natia."
"Well, come get fucking ripped with me, I know you want to."
She begins to wave an almost perfectly rolled joint in front of me.
"Who do you think I am? I would never pass up that opportunity."
We both giggled as she started to put the joint between her lips, then lights it. It's great having a friend that'll smoke you out if and when you need it, then again, all of my friends are like that.
A few hours pass and we're laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying not to fall asleep or burst out laughing.
"So, are you going to tell me what you were writing?"
"Holy shit, you're nosy, I love you, but it's about this girl and how I feel about her."
"Oh, that bitch, well, can I ask another question?"
"Depends on what it is."
"Why do you love someone who treated you the way she did."
"I.. I don't really know"
At that point I had to look away. I looked down and stared at my hands, thinking about all the times I would cry myself to sleep over her, but I also thought about the times she made me smile and laugh. I decided to lay down and think about it all.
I had fallen asleep, only for a couple of hours. I look over to see Natia passed out. I rolled over, grabbed my phone and head for the kitchen. Knowing I'm not at all hungry, I grab a bottle of water and sit on the counter. I look over at the clock and it's 2:08 in the morning. As I'm scrolling through social media, I get a text.
"Do you wanna chill later?"
It's her, I didn't expect her to text me this late.
"What's later?" I sat for a good 15 minutes till she replied.
"In an hour or so."
"Why do you reply so slow and yeah, that's fine."
