Without You

Mission and Memories

I need to kill him, he's my mission. I just can't though, it's like he knows me, but why can't I remember him? Do I even know him? I stare down at him my eyes wide, hair going everywhere because of the wind. "I'm with ya til the end of the line." He says. I have a memory... A flashback. I can't do it, I'm weak so instead I let him fall. The helicarrier soon lands after he does and I grab him from the water pulling him with me to the ground. I just did something good... I let him lay there on his side while I walk away. I don't want to be this monster anymore, but who else can I be? This Bucky everyone seems to think I am? Could I be him? I rush into an abandon warehouse. I'm not a good person, but I could be. With all the assassinations I've done, how do I come back from that?

PLEASE?!" I scream out tears falling down my face. "JUST STOP!" I yell at the lab coats around me. "MAKE IT STOP!" I beg the main guy. "You're going to give them quite the shock little girl." The doctor says. "Just make it stop?" I whimper trying to hold my head, but the restraints don't allow it. "Make what stop?" He asks knowing damn well what I'm asking. "Make the voices stop? He's dead, I just can't..." I break off into sobs. "YOU KILLED HIM! YOU MONSTERS!" I yell and scream at them. "You should've kept her frozen." One guys says staring at me with a less than impressed look on his face. "We need her right now. They won't know what hit them. A poor scared familiar face." He says stroking my face gently. I bite at him, but he was expecting it and landed a hard blow to my face. "Stop your crying you little bitch and get ready." I immediately stop crying and glare at him. "It was worth a shot, newbie over there almost let me go." I tell him with a glare. He smiles at me before pulling his gun out and shooting the newbie, all without breaking eye contact. "Ah... You would've made the perfect Winter Soldier." He says affectionately. "You just don't listen to orders very well." He says dropping his fake smile. "No... I give them." I move my hand closer to him, but he's been around me long enough to know to not let me touch him. Last time he did that, I convinced him to let me go. The persuasion quickly wore off though, but I've had seventy years of experience now so I'm much better. "We're gonna have fun today." He says, a real smile working its way onto his face. Real fear settles in and my stomach hits the floor. Whenever he smiles like that... Shit is going down hill and it's usually going to land on me. They bring me over to an electric chair. "Get in." He says pointing towards it. They untie me and let me walk over to it. "You want the voices and memories to stop haunting you?" He asks. I nod my head quickly. "Then sit down." He motions towards the chair. "What's the catch?" I ask refusing to sit down yet. "It'll hurt." I roll my eyes and sit down. This is what I've been asking for, for years. Finally the nightmares will stop, they've been pumping me full of drugs to make the nightmares ten times worse and the memories ten times more painful. I can deal with a little pain. He hooks me up and puts a rubber piece in my mouth. "Lesdo dis." I say through the mouth piece. He doesn't answer, but instead pulls down a lever.