"Hey, wake up! Mac please wake up! He's here, you have to wake up! You said that you wouldn't let him hurt me!"
My eyes fly open as the nightmare ends. Guilt fills me as I remember that night as if it was yesterday. She's gone and it's all my fault. She trusted me to protect her and keep her safe, away from him. I loved her so much, but she's gone forever. My mom knows it wasn't my fault and that I tried to help her, she tells me it's okay, but whenever I look at my mom's eyes I see the look of disgust as if I was the one that killed her. I know she doesn't mean to look at me that way, but it's still there, and sometimes I feel like it will always be there. Every night it's been the same dream, the details change slightly but the rest is the same. I have to convince myself that I didn't kill her, but then I think 'I didn't save her' and to me it's all in the same. I may have a fucked up life, but it's what I deserve, no one should be dead because of me.
"Mac come help me in the garden," I hear my mom yell through my open window, so I force myself out of bed to get dressed. I slip into an almost entirely blue outfit that consists of blue shorts, flip flops, with a blue and white tank, and on my way out I grab my blue sunglasses.
I find my mom working in the hug garden we have out back. We may not be the wealthiest people ever, but we have a very nice house that my friends call a mini mansion, and a HUGE garden that my mom and I planted. We may be on the wealthier side, but it doesn't mean we have butlers walking around all over asking if we want something to drink, no mom thinks that even though we have money doesn't mean we should spend it on butlers because we can do what we would have them do and I agree. So every two or so weeks mom calls and asks me to help out. I of course say yes.
"Morning hun"
"Morning mom, what are we doing today?"
"Weeding." I mentally curse because I absolutely hate weeding.
Mom starts talking about someone at work that had a baby recently, but unfortunately for her she has a kinda rude daughter that tuned out. Something she says though makes me start to listen though, the fact that we are getting new neighbors. Don't get me wrong meeting new people is great but the last person I met was killed because of me. Apparently the new neighbors are moving in today and we were supposed to go and help them unpack, because they just so happened to sign off the house here and mom was here which was a rare occurrence and they got along pretty well, so now we're helping them move in.
*beep beep*
A smile appears on moms face and it's beautiful, she hasn't smiled for a long time, not since María died. I realize that the new neighbors are here already, so I get up and dust myself off hoping that I look presentable. I walk to the van and am greeted by a lady who looks likes she's in her late 30s'. She's extremely pretty with brown waves that go down to around the top of her rib cage, blue eyes, and olive skin. My mom is short compared to her and she is not short, the lady is tall, and skinny, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was a model. She says her name is Sarah. Two teens get out one male and one female. The girl comes right up to me and starts talking to me like we're best friends, and I decide that I like her. She is much prettier than I am though. Everyone in the family is though, so why am I surprised? She looks almost like a splitting image of her mother, with brown waves, and blue eyes, the only difference is her skin, while he mother is olive, she is extremely pale, whiter than paper pale. She is tall as well, probably 4 inches taller than I am. The last person I see is a teenage guy. He's cute, but in a shy guy type of way. He is quieter than his sister, whom I later found out is his half sister. He has brown hair too, with the same blue eyes as his mother, but not as tall as I thought he would've been. The last thing I notice is that there is no father figure that lives with them or he is just not there at that moment.
If all the people that I have met I can tell that these will be my best friends. Something is there at the back of my mind, but I can't quite place it, so I just forget about for the time being, and start chatting with the girl who's name is Lana. She has experienced death a few times already, from her best friend to her father. Her father is someone who wouldn't give her the time of day, just like my father, and the rest of my family, besides my mother. Her mother was married before, to a man named Peter, but he was no trip. Peter, while he was wealthy he was also an alcoholic, and abused more drugs than one should ever try. They got divorced, and Sarah got custody of Elliot.
Elliot is one year older than Lana, and is darker skinned than her but still olive. Sarah is already a second mother to me, even though we just met 30 minutes ago.
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Laying in my bed I think of María, my best friend who died because I couldn't save her.
