The Cold Upbringing

Chapter 1

Walking into the funeral home taking in a big deep breaths.My mother is died and I'm really trying to be strong because i know she would not want me in here crying. Walking past her in her brown wooden casket seeing her dead lifeless body laying in there. Even when my mother is died she is still slaying with her eyebrows arched and her edges layed to the heavens which she rests. I gave her a sad smile which wasnt returned back. Thats when the tears start to come and it starting to sink in that my mother wont be there to smile at me anymore. Plus smiling was one of her best qualities. She was always smiling even when she had cancer on her death bed. Man i love my mother. I touched her smooth brown hands and cried until i couldnt cry no more. It will be time for the people to arrive soon. Walking past her picture on the stage. I picked it out myself she had on a long red dress and she didnt have on any makeup letting her youthful skin pop out with her natural long 4c curly hair. She had a round face with light brown eyes and beautiful full pink lips with a nice button nose. People always use to say she look like a grown kid.

It was 10am and people was starting to get settled and come in. People was already crying even the babies. My mother was really good with kids. I started to go around greeting people and hearing "im sorry for your lost". Flipping my long ombre hair over my shoulder i turned to talk to my cousin Brenda. She was like my mothers other daugther and she was like a sister to me. Her mother was a crack addict so my mom was her second mom to her. She always came to house to live and we didnt have much but we made it work for Brenda. My mother did have a good life even though she didnt get to complete some of her dreams because she had me. She always had time to tell me that i wasn't a mistake and she was glad to have me. She always had time to tell me that i was her sunshine and that she wouldn't last so long in this world without me. I cried into Brenda arms rocking side to side just crying. "My sunshine, my darling sunshine" i can hear my mother singing me to sleep when i was a kid. I let go of Brenda hand and start walking back up to the red stage and grab the  mic. "Hello, I came to gather you all today for the death of my mother, London Lewis. We all know my mother was a great person and we all loved her dearly. She was there for everybody in this room and everybody in this room was there for her. Everybody invited her was hand picked by her. She wanted her closet family and friends to be here for her on her last days. Even though she didn't have much everybody in this room have peice of her will. On the cards handed to you there is a number on it which you can claim your givings. Thank you guys for coming and i love you all. My mother loves you too. Be safe and take care of yourselves." I completed my speech and walk down off the stage giving all my families and friends hugs.

Then i notice a light skin man with curly hair and hazel eyes just like mines. He also have my nose and lips. When we connected our eyes he start walking over towards me. "I'm sorry for your lost Amani. I'm your father Chris. Your mother gave me you on her will. She said that you were a gift and i will be lucky to have you" he tried to give me a hug then i pushed him away. "Your not my father. Youre my sperm donor and dont get it twisted. Dont come into my mother funeral with this disrespect and how dare you come in the middle of my speech. If your were really sorry for my lost you wouldnt had came late. Please leave" I told him crying. "Amani please dont do this. I did love your mother truly and belive me im hurting. I know you're going to need time but you're going to live with me and im not leting my daugther go anywhere else. I lost your mother and im not going to lose you too." he said with a fatherly tone but i dont give a fuck. I pushed him out my way and grabbed Brenda hand and walked to my old house. We couldnt afford to give our family a fancy limo to take everybody home. Im pretty sure they dont care about that anyway

Walking into my old house makes me want to cry all over around. Looking at my old green couch they still have my mother blanket on it. She always used to be wrapped on the couch when I came home from girl and would ask me about my day and stuff. I always say fine and go in my room. Now I wished I would had stopped and talk to her. Me and my mother had a good relationship and we talked all the time. Now that she died I'm starting to realize all the small moments I messed out with her. I sit down on the padded couch and got my mother blanket and grabbed myself in to it. Brenda got under the cover.

" I saw you talking to your dad. How did it go?" She said with her horse voice because of all the crying she did. My voice wasn't any better from all the crying I did. "It was bad. This nigga talking about he sorry for my lost and didn't give show a damn tear. The he had the nerve to say that he is hurting too. Like bitch where? If he was really hurting he would had came on time and had real tears like everybody else." I said getting all mad. "Amani this is the only parent that you have left. I know that you going through it but at least give him a chance. Your mother gave you to him for a reason. Respect your mother will by just moving with him. I will help you get through it Bestfriend" she said smiling at me with her puffy red eyes and snot coming out her nose. "Let's go wash our faces. We look a hot mess" I said while walking up the wooden brown stairs reminding me of my mother casket around. Opening up the black cabinet I threw Brenda a fluffy white towel. I grabbed for myself and washed our faces.

Brenda got done washing her face and she said she got to watch her mom. Her mom is starting to get clean she was also at the funeral. Even though her mom is a crack head my mother was still her friend. She loved everyone and everybody loved her. Too bad she couldn't get love from the man she loved. Chris. She used to tell me stories about him all the time and I would always roll my eyes because he wasn't here for me. My mother told me he will come in get me one day. I didn't know that one day would be her funeral.

4 hours after Brenda went home I went to sleep and woke up at 9:30 am. After doing my hygiene and getting some breakfast. I looked at all my stuff getting packed on the truck to go live with my father. I'm taking most of my mother belongings. He live in the Hamptons. After the movers packed all my stuff I was out to the Hamptons in 7 hours. They dropped my off at the address and me and the movers knocked on the door then a light skin lady with brown straight open the door.

"Hey you must be Chris daughter. I'm your step mother Chrissy. It's nice to meet you. I can't wait until you meet your siblings"  she said all happy and shit.

"Bitch what are you talking about. I must have the wrong house. Movers let's go." I said turning around until I hear my father loud voice saying "Amani wait!". My heart just dropped. I really have a step mom. He came to my mother funeral talking about sorry for your lost when he got another bitch and some kids at home. Let me remind you how the big this house it must cost millions. Me and my mother living the slums while he lacing his wife and kids out. Was my mother like gum to the bottom of his shoe. I'm steaming. 

"Chris your daughter just called me a bitch. I understand the situation but
I'm not going to be disrespected" she said rolling her eyes.

"So after the funeral you went home to this bitch. To tell my mother business. Ok cool. I see you. She dead but you already have her name in her mouth. Was  you mentioning my mother she was laying in the bed with cancer. Was you mentioning my mother when she had me. Was you mentioning my mother when I was on the honer roll. Since your wife know so much about the situation." I said storming off down the street not knowing where I'm going.

Walking down the street this wild small  dog ran off the leash and got on my leg. So I stepped on it and kept walking. "Don't you step on my dog" this old ginger beard lady said yelling at me. "Fuck you and your stupid dog. She look like she got rabies anyway." I yelled back and walker away. I kept walking until I saw basketball court and sat by a near by tree. I sank down and cried. "I miss my momma" I cried sounding like a little kid.

Then a basketball hit me upside my head. "WHAT THE FUCK" I said screaming. "Aye chill out baby girl" a brown skin boy with long cornrows and a circle face said. He looked down at me with a tear covered face. His face soften and he sat down. "what's wrong" he asked with his dark brown eyes staring back at me.