Spideypool

The Recruit.

"Hello. Yes you. You probably know who I am. But if you don't, my name is Wade Wilson. And I'm one bad motherfucker.", Deadpool says, "When did you start talking to yourself? Wade slash, Deadpool.", says a voice behind his back.
   Deadpool turns around, "Nick Harry??! I mean, Nick Furry, how did you find me?? Oh wait, of course, the guy who stalks people 24/7 in his room. I wonder what else you do after that.", Deadpool says as he makes a thinking face.
   "Wade Wi-", Nick stops, "It's Deadpool, I don't like showing or telling my name or identity to nearby molesters. Ahem, hint hint.", Deadpool tells him. "Deadpool, S.H.I.E.L.D. needs your-", he stops again as Deadpool interrupts again, "Nah nah nah, no superhero pornhub xxx parody sign up here, Nicholas.", Deadpool tells him.
   "You might want to listen because I have a job where you team up wi-", Deadpool interrupts again. "If it's with Black Widow, Maria Hill, Daisy, Sharon Carter, nevermind, Captain Underpants will kill me. Anyways, Peggy Carter, nevermind she died.", Deadpool says as he counts with his fingers.
   As I was saying, if it's any of those 3 then sign me up to your XXX parody. Talking about parodies, I cannot believe I am a parody of Deathstroke. And by the way, if you're there casted as the black dude then no. Not to be racist I swear because I love Michelle Jackson. Until he decided to turn white. But anyways, I won't stand your big bl-"
   "Stop. Deadpool, I am teaming you up with Spider-Man.", says Nick Furry. "WHAT THE SHIT BISCUITS!!", Deadpool shouts. "Sp-p-p-p-pider-Men!!", he says as his eyes grow widely and places his hands on his cheeks.
   "It's Spider-Man. With an A, not E.", Nick Furry tells him. "Don't correct me Nicholas! What? You think you're as cool as Nicholas Cage casting for the old Ghost Rider? Well too bad it's now Gabriel Luna casting for Robbie Reyes!", Deadpool shouts.
   "At least I didn't get a Nick Furry version where they sew my mouth and give me one long claw in each hand.", Nick replies. "Keep talking and I will tell Melvin Yepez to erase your name out of his stupid fan-fiction story of Spideypool!", says Deadpool. He turns around and doesn't see Nick Furry anymore.
   "Okay, I was just kidding. You can bring Nicky Minaj back.", Deadpool says looking up to the sky. He looks back down and sees a phone on a table with a note saying, 'First, grab money on the back of the phone. It will pay your bus drive and train travel. Second, meet Spider-Man at the train station. Third, find Juggernaut and Kraven.'
   "Oh well, time to meet up with my favorite superhero and find out who the hell is Jugglenuts and Krave cereal dude.", Deadpool says. "New York City, here comes Deadpool.", Deadpool says as he closes his fists, places them on his hips, and does a superhero pose.