halsey

i'm tired

I am so tired. I am just fucking tired. Not in the "I'm so tired of this bullshit" kind of way, in the "I'm so tired I wish I could open up the window of this airplane so the air pressure would crush my throat like an invisible fist, and I could finally sleep in past 7AM tomorrow" kind of way. Theres two modes. Theres: shaking body, carbonated chest cavity, is the room turning black or am I just strung out on some imaginary caffeinated high? And then there's: wow I cant feel my footsteps land on the ground now, everything is moving very slow, my voice is resonating in my own skull and are you SURE my tongue belongs in my mouth?
I'm the kind of out of body you get when you walk into a fluorescent lit gas station bathroom when you're violently high (or you just woke up from a really long nap in the backseat of a car). So many time zones, so many places to see. I'm gonna start writing again. I promise. But everytime I touch my pen to paper I have nothing to say. My life used to pour from my fingertips so quickly I could barely read my own handwriting as it slanted to the right so hard that it threatened to turn sideways. But now I have nothing to say. A memoir full of poorly doodled flowers with mismatched petals. I don't know how to sing that though, so I better figure something out soon. I'm gonna start writing again. I promise I promise I promise I promise.

[via halseys tumblr]

People really need to start giving Ashley a fucking break.