Everything I Didn't Say

Chapter 1

"Alana, will you quit it?" My best friend Megan shook her head in disapproval as she watched me gaze at my crush.

"Sorry," I said, turning around. The lunchroom was full of kids from all four classes—freshman, sophomores, juniors, and seniors—yet, I had picked a guy from my own class, that was my own age.

"If you can't even talk to him, why stare like a creeper?" she asked me, taking a sip of Dr. Pepper.

I shook my head and glanced over my left shoulder. "I don't know. He is quiet, isn't he?" I said thoughtfully. Of all people, I picked Ashton. He was always so quiet, but he was in all of my classes. I never knew why he was so silent. He had only moved to the school the week before. I'd never heard him speak. The bell rang, and as I reached down for my tray I realized I hadn't taken but two bites.

"See?" Megan emphasized. "Now this kid is making you starve."

"Shut up Megan," I joked as I picked up my notebook. I never went anywhere without it. We dumped our trays and headed to our last class—Geometry.

After an hour and a half of sin, cos and tan, I was totally blown out. I was about to leave when my teacher, Mr. Leary, called me up to his desk. My heart jumped when he told Ashton to stay behind as well.

"Yes?" I replied, stepping up to the desk. I could hear everyone talking and messing around in the hallways. Ashton stood against the wall beside the door.

I knew what this meeting was about. Sure enough, Mr. Leary held up a test we had taken the week before, marked with a 35. "Are you having trouble with the material, Alana?" Mr. Leary inquired.

"Mr. Leary," I started, "I know everything we're learning. I don't know how, but I just forget everything once I get the test."

"I see." He put the test under a couple other papers and called Ashton over. Oh God, I thought. Ashton stepped up to the desk. Mr. Leary pointed at him. "Mr. Irwin here will be your tutor, okay?" he asked. I nodded. "I told him and a couple of other high-average people in the class that you needed a tutor, and he was the only one who wanted to do it. You two will come in here for an hour every day after school. This starts Monday." He turned towards me. "I know that you know the material. But I also know that you need this little extra push."

"Okay." He nodded his head, signaling that I could leave. I walked out of the classroom as fast as I could so I could avoid Ashton.

"Alana, hold on!" he called. My eyes widened. Oh no. Australian accents make a guy a lot more attractive. I grimaced, half-afraid of talking to him and half-glad that he was chasing after me. I stopped and turned around to see him jogging down the hallways, his hair flopping around.

"Oh. Hello," I said, trying not to let my nervousness show. When he reached me he ruffled his hair. Okay, I thought. I got this.

"Hey," he greeted me. "Um...yeah, I was the only one, I guess, who wanted to do it. I mean, who wanted to tutor you."

"Well, thanks," I told him. "Like I said, I know it all until I get the test. Then my slate is wiped clean."

"Well, that just happens with some people," he explained. He pointed to my notebook in my hand. "What do you write in there?" he asked. "I mean, you're always scribbling in there like your life depends on it."

"No, I can't say," I told him bashfully. "I don't tell people what I write."

"Come on," he said, playfully nudging my arm. "You can tell me."

I looked up. God. He had the most perfect eyes. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

I took a really deep breath. "I...write lyrics."

"Lyrics?" Ashton raised his eyebrows and stuck out his bottom lip. "Hm. You know, I write music too. You know—about girls. Heartbreak. Crushes."

"I write mine about specific people."

"Like who?"

"Um...I don't think you want to know."

"Well, is it someone I know?"

"Yeah, it's someone you know."

I wanted him to stop, but he kept prying for answers. "Who?"

Finally I just blurted it out. "You!" I exclaimed. "They're about you. At least, the current one is."

He stopped. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Really."

He started walking again, but didn't get too far. Absentmindedly we had come to the front exit doors. We walked outside and prepared to say goodbye.

"Where do you live?"

I pointed. "Up there. On that hill." It just so happened that he lived on the exact same hill, so we ended up walking together. I found out that he had moved here from Australia, and was getting into the music business. He played drums, and even showed me a video he had posted on YouTube. He was really good, and that fact made me like him that much more. Finally we turned onto my street and stopped in front of my house.

"This is me," I said finally.

"You're kidding," he grinned. He ran across the street and motioned to the house. "This one's mine." As if on cue, a woman came out of the house, dressed like she was going to a meeting.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin!" she scolded. "Where have you been?" I giggled as he smiled, embarrassed.

"I was walking with her, Mum," he explained. "I'm her tutor in Geometry. She lives just across the street."

"Okay, well, I have to go away on business, and I'm not going to back for a couple of days. I'm sorry, it was last minute, but I have to go or I'm going to be late. I'll call you when I get there. I love you."

"Okay. I love you too." We separated into our own houses, but not before exchanging numbers. I walked through my front door, not believing that the one guy I've had the biggest crush on just walked me home and became my tutor, meaning we'd be spending time together. Lots of time.