Leave Me Behind

~Christmas Day~

(Intro)

I was never a fan of Christmas. It's all the same. Shitty sweaters and fucking Enid Blyton books; which is ridiculous because I'm sixteen. 

Don't get me started on homophobic extended family members. Being a gay Korean teenager living in a shitty part of South-West England with a mental illness is a lot more difficult than it sounds.

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I woke up that morning to my alarm, which was Suga's Bultaorune on repeat, and the unfortunate reminder that it was Christmas day. I reluctantly pulled myself out of my bed and headed for the bathroom. Once I had freshened up, I headed downstairs. Everyone was eagerly sat beside the tree. "Haneul-ah, what took you so long?" my younger brother, Dae-Jung asked.

"I was sleeping," I replied grumpily.

"That's always your excuse!" my sister, Duri, exclaimed angrily, "You seem to forget that you have a family!" I stood up but my mum quickly stopped me.

"That's enough, Duri, I'm sure Haneul-ah was sleeping," my mum said kindly. Dae-Jung looked at the gifts excitedly. My parents nodded and allowed him to begin opening them carefully. As I suspected, it was all toy cars, trains and comics. The last one was from me. He carefully pulled off the holographic paper to reveal a large box. He lifted off the lid to reveal a bundle of items; old Pokemon cards, Dragonball Z manga and old Doctor Who figures. He lifted out the final parcel that was at the bottom of the box. It was a Sailor Moon doll. I looked at him nervously, he didn't seem to move. His lips parted as he grinned happily. "Haneul-ah! She's beautiful!" he declared happily. He hugged me tightly. "Open your presents!" he exclaimed. I nodded and pulled all of my gifts towards me. I opened my clothes first. I ripped open the paper, expecting some shit hoodie from H&M. I was so wrong. Carefully tucked in a bed of tissue paper was a black sweater with writing saying 'Suga'. Below was a picture of Suga formed into the number 93. I smiled, it was amazing. I lifted it  out carefully to reveal a pair of black ripped jeans and a pair of construction boots, much like Jungkook's. "How did you know I wanted this stuff?" I asked.

"It was Dae-Jung's idea." My dad answered, "He knew that you loved Bangtan Sonyeondan, so he told us to buy you their merchandise."  I smiled shyly then continued to open my gifts. I picked out a large box wrapped in blue shiny paper. i unwrapped the box and opened it to reveal a pile of BTS albums, photo cards and other merchandise. The first thing I pulled out was the BTS Young Forever special album set. I looked, taken aback. I smiled happily then continued to pull out items from the box. I looked at the photo cards. They were beautiful. I stroked each smiling face carefully, feeling the photo paper underneath my fingers. An air of sadness washed over me. BTS inspired me to sing; their music helped me when I felt suicidal. I could never meet the seven boys who saved me from depression. It just wasn't possible. I blinked the tears away and continued to open my presents. I got BTS posters, a BTS backpack, posters and new jeans and shirts. Although I loved my presents, I still felt empty, knowing I would never meet them. "The gifts are amazing, thanks" I said as I left for my room. I changed into my new black ripped jeans, a red t-shirt and my Suga sweater. As I was pulling on my socks, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it" I shouted as I ran down the stairs. I opened the door to see Sam. "Hey! I brought my Christmas gift for you" he said as he hugged me. We sat together on the couch and I gave Sam his gift. He quickly ripped of the paper to reveal a pansexual pride hoodie. "Oh my gosh! it's so cool!" Sam said, hugging me tight, "Here's your present, open it" I looked down at the envelope in Sam's hands. I picked it up and opened it hesitantly. There spilled out one crisp ticket to Seoul. Sam held up an identical one. "Guess who's meeting BTS," Sam said to me, smiling. I hugged Sam tightly, "Oh my god! I can't believe it, I'm meeting them!"